Deathbed Visions

[Zen Tzu]

Yet another very fascinating topic:

VIDEO: Deathbed Visions: End-of-Life Experiences from a Nurse's Viewpoint
https://youtu.be/QLntRXQALzo?si=HGv2hKL325CzwG9w

[Zen Tzu]

So interesting to me since I have shared in many deathbed visions while with the dying....

VIDEO: End-of-Life Visions and Other Experiences with Barbara Karnes RN | EOLU Podcast
https://youtu.be/-x41DshnuIE?si=QgIsq5FGmsPNZgMh

[anthonychip]

WOW Zen Tzu, these videos are wonderful ...

So interesting to me since I have shared in many deathbed visions while with the dying....

VIDEO: End-of-Life Visions and Other Experiences with Barbara Karnes RN | EOLU Podcast
https://youtu.be/-x41DshnuIE?si=QgIsq5FGmsPNZgMh

Barbara Karnes:

20:41 minutes
'...for them the person that's dying and they're in that labor to get out of

their body in the days to hours um even sometimes weeks but generally

days to hours everything to them is like a dream

and if you know how you can wake up some mornings and you go oh my gosh I dreamed

last night and it was so real and I was so scared or I was so happy or whatever

I think in the days to hours before death everything becomes like a dream

and dreams don't necessarily make sense

when converted into physical reality

and we just have to accept that fact that we're hearing hearing and

witnessing their dream...'

[anthonychip]

https://bkbooks.com/

Here are the 10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT APPROACHING DEATH by hospice innovator Barbara Karnes, RN award winning educator, author, and thought leader on matters of end of life. She is a renowned authority to explain the dying process to families, healthcare professionals, and the community at large. Barbara has held both clinical and leadership positions, including staff nurse, clinical supervisor, and executive director at Hospices and Home Health Care agencies.
We hope you find this list helpful.


10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT
APPROACHING DEATH
By Barbara Karnes, RN

1. Dying is not a medical event. It is a personal, social, communal experience. It is not about endless treatments but about living the best we can within the limits of our body and disease.

2. Dying is not painful. Disease causes pain. There are a lot of diseases we can die from that cause no pain. If there is pain we have unlimited ability to manage pain. With our pharmaceutical advances there is no reason for anyone to die in pain.

3. There is a process to dying from disease. We are not alive one minute and dead the next. Gradually the body adjusts to the disease and shuts down. This occurs over a period of months. The process involves gradually not eating, gradually increasing sleep and gradually withdrawing and going inward.

4. We must have an Advance Directive (Even if we aren't sick we need to have an Advance Directive.) An Advance Directive tells medical professionals how we want to live our life until we are not living it anymore. Without an Advance Directive the medical professionals will decide how we live and die.

5. A terminal illness is a gift of time. Most people don't know when or how their death is coming. When the doctors tell us they are having a hard time fixing us, as difficult as it is, they are giving us a gift, a gift of time. This is the time to do and say what we want said and done.

6. Get a second opinion, third if necessary. We need to learn about our disease and its treatment options: ask questions about cure, tumor, goals, remission possibilities, best case scenario, worst case scenario. Asking questions and doing research gives us knowledge to make wise decisions. Sometimes the best choice is to do to nothing.

7. Not all Hospices are alike. Research hospices before one is needed. One of the biggest mistakes is calling hospice later rather than sooner. Hospice service is appropriate in most situations as soon as we stop treatment (if treatment was chosen).

8. Be open, talk about feelings, concerns and fears with those close. This is not a time for secrets. We can use this gift of time to mend relationships, smell the roses, express love and appreciation. Not telling someone they have a life threatening illness is depriving that person of their gift of time. We live inside of our body and know what is happening whether anyone tells us or not. Not talking and sharing the “secret” isolates each of us with our thoughts and fears.

9. Everyone is afraid to some degree when we approach the end of our life. Know that as we get closer to death we will care less and less about the exterior aspects of living, a gentle introspection takes fear's place.

10. Everybody dies. Death is a part of living. It is our final act of living. And we still have choices. We can choose to turn our limited future over to medical professionals and go with whatever they are lead and required to do with us if that is what we want. Or, and many people don't know this, we can choose to take the reins, do some research, ask questions and make decisions on how we want our final act of living to unfold. It doesn't have to be all or nothing either. What do we want our last experience to be? We have the power to make it so.

[anthonychip]

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/14343949

[00:07:35] Barbara Karnes: Well, you mentioned end of life doulas and how they're outside of the medical model. Hospice started outside of the medical model. We were not part of the medical establishment. That is the gift that hospice brought. Hospice now, over the years, has slowly been absorbed into the medical model. And it's changed.

[00:08:02] It's not what it started out to be. And what I see is end of life doulas are outside of the medical model. They are bringing a new, fresh approach to end of life. And end of life. Doulas are a gift. And in my heart I feel I'm an end of life doula because I started like your starting and I learned by being outside of the medical model and you will also learn and bring fresh ideas to end of life, and that's really exciting to me.

In the 1970s, Elizabeth Kubler Ross and Dame Cicely Saunders revolutionized our approach to death. While Kubler Ross emphasized the neglect of the dying in America, Saunders proposed a novel philosophy with her Hospice program. The focus shifted from mere medical treatment to a holistic approach of embracing life during the dying process.

Our guest, Barbara Karnes, a registered nurse, embarked on her hospice journey driven by Saunders' vision. Inspired by the idea of creating a space for living, Barbara started volunteering for hospice. The original essence of hospice, existing outside the medical model, has been gradually absorbed, and Barbara sees the emergence of end-of-life doulas as a refreshing return to that independent, compassionate approach.

She envisions a future where end-of-life doulas integrate into the hospice model, providing the crucial gift of time that medical professionals often lack. Barbara emphasizes the importance of educating communities about the distinctive role of doulas, urging them to connect with churches, senior citizen communities, and nursing facilities.

The conversation delves into the societal perception of death as a medical emergency and the reluctance to let go. Barbara advocates for a shift in mindset, facilitated through community education and open dialogue about death. She believes that normalizing death will lead to a more balanced approach to living.

Reflecting on historical shifts in how death is handled, Barbara notes a cyclical pattern. From deaths at home to hospital settings and now a return to a preference for dying at home, education plays a crucial role in shaping societal attitudes. She encourages parents to discuss death openly with their children, contributing to a more informed and accepting future.

Barbara's philosophy underscores life as a continual learning process, emphasizing the importance of expressing love regularly. Drawing parallels between life's tightrope walk and our attempts to balance experiences, she stresses the significance of never leaving words unspoken. In the realm of end-of-life care, expressing love becomes a profound and essential practice, echoing the fundamental truth that life is, indeed, a school of learning.

[anthonychip]

In my father's deathbed vision, he told me that his father was waiting for him so they could cross the bridge together.

[Giulia]

In my father's deathbed vision, he told me that his father was waiting for him so they could cross the bridge together.

This must have been a very comforting thing to know, Tony. To know that our loved ones are never alone when they pass but have beloved family members to meet them and be with them.

[anthonychip]

In my father's deathbed vision, he told me that his father was waiting for him so they could cross the bridge together.

This must have been a very comforting thing to know, Tony. To know that our loved ones are never alone when they pass but have beloved family members to meet them and be with them.

Giulia, I actually expected something like my father's vision of his father because when his father died I received an ADC:

https://youtu.be/iNok0dwq-CA?si=4S4-5acyOYTVxMut

8:27 minutes:

around the time of age 30 or so my age 30 my grandfather my

father's father died and uh somebody called me and we I was living about 30

miles away from home at that time where I worked and I was driving back and I

was driving about 35 miles an hour and a huge white bird came down

and grabbed my windshield wiper and I had never even

seen a white bird like that ever in the area um and at that moment um I feel

that was my grandfather had died at that moment and when I got back to the

hospital with my aunt where he she was sitting with him he had died about that

same time

[Giulia]

Thanks for sharing your ADC about your grandfather’s death, Tony. I am quite sure that we are all connected and that our loved ones are always in touch, especially at critical times such as when crossing over.