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I'm sure I've posted this before, but not on the NDE forum, the NDE site. I decided to post it again as I was advised to maybe share it when I posted in the forum in regards to another topic. Maybe this was an NDE. It happened 6 years ago. I was 33 and I am 39 now. I didn't know about NDE's then and I was raised in pretty much a ghetto..my religious upbringing is Baptist Christian. Anyway, I had come home from the emergency room. I left work early because I felt awful. I was told that I had low blood pressure (normal for long skinny people) & I was severely anemic. They said that I should get treatment for what they felt was depression and possibly hypoglycemia. I felt I didn't have time for it because I needed to work & STD only paid 70% of wages where I worked at.

I went home. I laid down and went to sleep. I remember first a feeling like a kind of whirled in a circle. I came 'out'. I could see myself on the couch. I felt really good & relieved & this sense of a strong powerful love..not of this surrounding at all. I went somewhere dark but the beings had some kind of outline that I could see and they had forms. I 'buzzed' around. What I can remember is that I didn't have a 'self' if that makes any sense. I didn't miss anyone. I never knew anyone. I 'buzzed' around some more and this being..a male?..ran right into me and I felt the most euphoric feeling I ever felt..it was like a buzzing feeling and for lack of a better description some kind of non-sexual orgasm with an unreal intensity. It knocked me somewhere else. I tried buzzing after the being that did this and I wanted to talk but I felt fear. Something told me not to chase after 'him' anymore.and it meant ever. I felt fear and that is when I went back to my body. I could see myself laying on the couch just like I would if I were looking at someone else. I looked different to myself..like I was an 'other'. I went back in through my nose. I woke up very angry. I was so angry and I didn't want to go back. I hate it here..is what I thought.
No one here can tell you what it was that you experienced and it doesn't matter if it has a label or not .

You experienced something beautiful that only a few people while there alive ever get to experience .

I wouldn't sweat about giving it a label , but just remember and reflect on that experience whenever you feel the need
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What Garry said is right, never mind the labels. The important thing is what it means to you. If you ask me it resembles out of body experiences most but you also felt encompassed by strong feelings of love and peace which fit more with NDEs. There are scientific criteria, such as the Greyson scale but you'd have to look it up and judge for yourself if you really want to. But these kinds of scales are many and varied and only useful for comparative scientific purposes and are probably of no meaning to anyone not doing research.
The astral sex is most typical of lucid dreams and OBEs and I haven't run into any NDEs with such a description, but it may be simply a question of how these experiences are worded. Words tend to fall short with these experiences. I'd hold on the the feelings of love and realted phenomena, they are really the core of what it's all about!
It could be an OBE..or maybe I could have been drifting between both due to my condition. Who knows? The thought of astral sex grosses me out but I guess that would be a description for it. I have had a more than a few OBE's. I moved out of my last apartment because I felt like I was having them due to the apartment ( I don't know why). I have only had 2 experiences in my new place and I have been there almost two years..which I am glad about.
Hi, michellekia.

Thanks for sharing this experience. I am curious and have a few questions.

You mention having had a few OBEs, besides this experience, and not liking them. Could you explain the difference, compared to this experience? Did you see your own body the other times? Did you feel your own self, aware of your own circumstances and relations? You mention your house and also moving to a new apartment: were you aware of the astral version of your apartments during your OBEs? What is it about your OBEs that you do not like?

Regarding this particular account, I was wondering: do you feel repugnance for the situation itself or just because of how you are wording it? Did you feel you were told not to chase the being because it was a low-level being or because you would be crossing a border you would not be able to come back from?

The reason I am asking is because I have never experienced OBEs under possible life-threatening conditions, and I have also never felt brave enough to look at my own body. So I was wondering what yours feel like, as a rule.
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
Giulia,

Thanks for asking. I think I have a problem with control..well..I know I have a problem with it. I think because I can't control where I go or what I do in my OBE's or even other 'gifts' that I have been given..it makes me not want them. I don't know where I will go when I have an OBE. One time, I came 'out' & I was engulfed in light and I saw what looked like a pixie (it's the only thing I have it to compare it to). I just looked at it and then the pixie 'did something'..she? he? smiled and I felt this incredible feeling of powerful love. It was almost like the pixie did it as a defense. I have only once again seen my body...just part of it. I had made a little sleeping palette on the floor and was watching TV. I fell asleep & I woke up. The room looked fluid & foggy. My body was completely stiff & I could feel the bones in my hand. I tried with all my might to lift my hand & I finally did. At the same time I could see part of my body and the hand raising up. I then had that whirl in a circle feeling and I ended up going really fast all around the city. I came in contact with a spirit that I knew was cousin that lived not too far from me & our spirits became one spirit (crazy right?). I had this feeling that there could be two in one or that we really are not one (if that makes sense). I was bubbly & happy as can be the whole time..which is opposite my personality.

I felt all kinds of things in that old apartment. I was sitting on the couch one day and some kids were outside laughing and walking past. I could feel their energy run through me. I have lucid dreams all the time where my cousin (more like a brother) would come to me in my dreams and try to tell me things..he had passed away a few years before at the age of 31 of AIDS related illness. When my dad died, he came to me in a dream. I was inconsolable when my dad died because of the way he left and that I had not spoken to him in about a year even though he raised me. My cousin showed me another life in India? where he was my brother. I was in a large temple unlike anything I had seen before and he told me without talking that I could choose that life if I wanted, if it would make me feel better.

As far at that me chasing that being..I felt like it was trying to tell me not to chase that feeling of a relationship again ever. That's the message that I got. I hope my reply wasn't too long. The difference with this and the other OBE's is that I knew that I was completely out of my body and that the body was an 'other'.
Hi michellekia,

Thanks for explaining. I quite understand how lack of control can be frustrating.

michellekia wrote: I came in contact with a spirit that I knew was cousin that lived not too far from me & our spirits became one spirit (crazy right?). I had this feeling that there could be two in one or that we really are not one (if that makes sense). I was bubbly & happy as can be the whole time..which is opposite my personality.


So the NDE-like experience was not the only time you experienced somehow “blending” with somebody other than you, as you also had the experience with your cousin, which made you happy, and the interesting thing is that you have lucid dreams of him visiting, and telling you things.

michellekia wrote: I felt all kinds of things in that old apartment. I was sitting on the couch one day and some kids were outside laughing and walking past. I could feel their energy run through me.


As I understand it, in this case you were awake, when you felt the energy of the kids in the neighbourhood running through you? Did this joyful energy feel Ok or did it feel unsettling in any way?

michellekia wrote: One time, I came 'out' & I was engulfed in light and I saw what looked like a pixie (it's the only thing I have it to compare it to). I just looked at it and then the pixie 'did something'..she? he? smiled and I felt this incredible feeling of powerful love. It was almost like the pixie did it as a defense.


Here again, you say you met with a being, when you felt engulfed in light, and the being conveyed an incredible feeling of powerful love by smiling. Still you felt it was a form of defence! Did you fear it may not be a genuine smile?

michellekia wrote: I have only once again seen my body...just part of it. I had made a little sleeping palette on the floor and was watching TV. I fell asleep & I woke up. The room looked fluid & foggy. My body was completely stiff & I could feel the bones in my hand. I tried with all my might to lift my hand & I finally did.


This sounds like sleep paralysis. I will try and explain a bit, based on my own experience. When we dream, most of our muscles (besides those required to keep us alive and allow our eyes to move, which is what is called Rapid Eye Movements detected during REM sleep) are paralysed to prevent us from acting out our dreams, sleepwalking and the like. If we somehow “wake up” with our mind at that time, the feeling of being paralysed can be unsettling and, if an OBE follows, some can experience feelings of lack of control drifting into the OBE state.

Lucid dreaming on the other hand, seems easier to gain control over with practice and need not have the unsettling sleep paralysis associated with it, unless it turns into an OBE. Also, at least in my own experience, in lucid dreams my critical/logical functions (which are often fear-based and/or filtered by my physical notions) are not interfering as much as in OBEs and in the waking state.

michellekia wrote: I have lucid dreams all the time where my cousin (more like a brother) would come to me in my dreams and try to tell me things..he had passed away a few years before at the age of 31 of AIDS related illness. When my dad died, he came to me in a dream. I was inconsolable when my dad died because of the way he left and that I had not spoken to him in about a year even though he raised me. My cousin showed me another life in India? where he was my brother. I was in a large temple unlike anything I had seen before and he told me without talking that I could choose that life if I wanted, if it would make me feel better.


I am very touched about your dad visiting in a dream, especially as you felt so much grief over not having spoken to him for the last year. I do hope this dream was healing in a way.

The choice your cousin (who is so brotherly to you) showed you in a lucid dream also seems to hint at the more relaxed state of mind you enjoyed and the greater control that was offered to you, such as having the choice to opt for a completely different life. It sounds exciting that you have such a close link with him through lucid dreams and I look forward to hearing how this develops.

michellekia wrote: As far at that me chasing that being..I felt like it was trying to tell me not to chase that feeling of a relationship again ever. That’s the message that I got. I hope my reply wasn’t too long. The difference with this and the other OBE’s is that I knew that I was completely out of my body and that the body was an ‘other’.


I am still baffled by this experience because of its apparently negative ethical connotations for you and will be happy to hear of any further experiences you may have, especially under circumstances when you feel a greater amount of relaxation and control. As you suggested, these may be gifts and maybe they arise from a heightened sensitivity, which, based on my experience, is a wonderful thing, but at the same time may make it easier to feel hurt or unsettled or as if you had little privacy. Here is possibly why psychics need to tame their gifts and make sure these are not at work when they are not helpful.

Thanks again for sharing, michellekia, and looking forward to your thoughts!!!
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
I am becoming a better writer by responding on this forum..LOL My writings are confusing.

*The spirit that I 'blended' with is a female cousin of mine that lived not too far from me..not the cousin that passed away


*The energy coming from the kids felt wonderful to be honest..it's like it gave me something I was depleted in.

* I somehow sense the 'pixie' saw me as not a threat..but could see that I wasn't from there..and could see my nature was not like theirs at first..not until it smiled and any thought of mistrust or 'ill will' that I could have had was gone after the burst of love I received.

*I think the situation I described with the stiff hand was sleep paralysis too. Similar happened to me as a child. I would be 'awake' but I couldn't open my eyes or move..and I would struggle to 'awaken' my body. It was just even more intense in the recent situation..body felt like heavy stone.

*I think that my perception of 'not following' that feeling ever again is negative. I'm not sure if what was told is negative. I'm a work in progress I guess. :):):)

I hope this 'helps' with your experiences too. If you have made some posts about them..let me know where to read them.
*also my father did not appear to me in that one dream..just my cousin who passed away of illness.
Hi, michellekia! Thanks for your feedback. Something I have always found helpful (when I had time) was keeping a diary of any unusal experience. Sometimes things make sense even years after they occured.
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
michellekia wrote: If you have made some posts about them..let me know where to read them.


Hi, michellekia. I have posted some here, though these are definitely not NDEs:

OBE experienced in 1994
OBE experienced in 1997
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
michellekia wrote: Giulia,

Thanks for asking. I think I have a problem with control..well..I know I have a problem with it. I think because I can't control where I go or what I do in my OBE's or even other 'gifts' that I have been given..it makes me not want them. I don't know where I will go when I have an OBE. One time, I came 'out' & I was engulfed in light and I saw what looked like a pixie (it's the only thing I have it to compare it to). I just looked at it and then the pixie 'did something'..she? he? smiled and I felt this incredible feeling of powerful love. It was almost like the pixie did it as a defense. I have only once again seen my body...just part of it. I had made a little sleeping palette on the floor and was watching TV. I fell asleep & I woke up. The room looked fluid & foggy. My body was completely stiff & I could feel the bones in my hand. I tried with all my might to lift my hand & I finally did. At the same time I could see part of my body and the hand raising up. I then had that whirl in a circle feeling and I ended up going really fast all around the city. I came in contact with a spirit that I knew was cousin that lived not too far from me & our spirits became one spirit (crazy right?). I had this feeling that there could be two in one or that we really are not one (if that makes sense). I was bubbly & happy as can be the whole time..which is opposite my personality.

I felt all kinds of things in that old apartment. I was sitting on the couch one day and some kids were outside laughing and walking past. I could feel their energy run through me. I have lucid dreams all the time where my cousin (more like a brother) would come to me in my dreams and try to tell me things..he had passed away a few years before at the age of 31 of AIDS related illness. When my dad died, he came to me in a dream. I was inconsolable when my dad died because of the way he left and that I had not spoken to him in about a year even though he raised me. My cousin showed me another life in India? where he was my brother. I was in a large temple unlike anything I had seen before and he told me without talking that I could choose that life if I wanted, if it would make me feel better.

As far at that me chasing that being..I felt like it was trying to tell me not to chase that feeling of a relationship again ever. That's the message that I got. I hope my reply wasn't too long. The difference with this and the other OBE's is that I knew that I was completely out of my body and that the body was an 'other'.



I believe you because I have had similar experiences to this. My sister and various other (living and dead) relatives have visited me in dreams. I have seen spirits of living people while out of body. They are in the form of light. It's really hard to explain. I have physically felt and heard voices of spirits (I have been thoroughly investigated by a psychiatrist, because I thought I was going crazy. But I am not.) Also I can relate to the physical weirdness you mention upon waking up. When I wake up from an experience it takes me a while to be able to move my limbs. My arms feel disconnected from my body, or my nose seems really TINY (yes, this is weird but it happened to me)....

Anyway, it's just a hunch but I think that these things happen to most, if not ALL people while we sleep. Most people just don't remember for some reason.
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