for you prismreverie and michellekia
A way to heal the inner child.
I'm relaying this the same way as I learned it, with (in between brackets) some comments, about how I personally experienced or do certain things, that might be helpful. The method is using visualization and imagination.
First part: Getting into a meditative state.
To begin with, you need a quiet space with a seat, for about 20-30 minutes, where you will not be disturbed.
(As it is often impossible to have this during the day in our busy world, you can use half an hour in bed before going to sleep. That's how I practice it.)
Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes.
Firstly direct your attention to your breathing and the tip of your nose. Don't breath in a certain way, just let your breath flow as it wants, and only watch it, while it is passing the tip of your nose. When the air is coming in, feel the cool of the air, going out feel its warmth. After a short time when you are able to follow your breath, try to also feel, at the same time, whatever is moving in your body while your breath is flowing. Your chest, shoulders, back heaving etc.
(Listening into your body, and feeling your body is important.)
When you are able to watch simultaneously your breathing, and your body, you try to also feel your heartbeat at the same time. (This is not so easy for everybody, some people feel their heart immediately, some need some time to get it.)
(For me it is easier to feel my heartbeat when I'm in a stretched out position, it's feeling as if some stream is gushing through my neck and ears.)
Remain like this for sometime, watching everything at the same time. Being so occupied to concentrate on all those different feelings and places, keeps your mind from thinking about other things. You will start to feel more relaxed and I suggest that you enjoy this for some time.
Stop here at your first tries.
(Anytime when your concentration is wavering, don't worry, don't judge, don't blame yourself or give up, simply get back to try again until the time is up.)
If you are in bed, you simply can let yourself go into sleep.
If you are meditating during the day, you stop the meditation by taking your attention back to your breathing, breath a few times voluntarily and deeply, before opening your eyes slowly, then do some stretching with arms and legs and move around.
After some time, you will get used to it and it will take less time to get into the meditative state, and the concentration needed will come easier.
After a prolonged time of practicing, the time to reach this state will become shorter and shorter, leaving room for other stages.
In the long run, (months?a year?) you simply have to put your attention to your breath and tip of nose, and calm is coming immediately, wherever you are, (for example at the dentists, or in a bus) no need for a special place, it has turned into a reflex.
(Already this first part is very useful to get relaxed and it can help a lot.)
Second part: Get in contact with your heart (and your inner child).
(The heart region is connected to our emotions. When we have joy, love somebody or something, our heart feels warm and good; and if we are going through arguments with other people, our heart is hurting, if we are angry we often feel as if it would burst. At least this is so with me. The heart area is always reacting with our emotions.)
Go into the above meditative state and concentrate on your heartbeat.
If you feel relaxed put both hands (crossed) on your heart and ask your heart the following question (mentally):
My heart, what do you need or wish from me? The question can be repeated once or twice.
(This question should be asked in earnest and honestly, wishing to get an answer. It may look strange to talk to our own heart as if it was a separate being, but this is one way to get in contact with our heart and our inner child. Probably there are more ways but I only know this one.)
After this question just listen and watch out what will happen. Maybe nothing, maybe strong feelings are welling up (very probable), maybe tears are coming. All those reactions are normal, there are no prescribed reactions. Let them come and go.
(When I did ask the question the first time, tears began streaming down my face, and I felt very shaken. I almost couldn't believe I was crying as I had not done this for quite some time, as I was at the time a rather introverted person. We were in a course, with our teacher leading the meditation, and many of the other participants experienced similar reactions, as I learned later on.)
After a while the next thought we direct to our heart is:
If I ever, knowingly or unknowingly, have hurt you, I am sorry. Please forgive me. (can be repeated once or twice)
Again wait some time and watch your feelings. Let them come and go.
Anyhow after a while, send a feeling of love and gratitude towards your heart, for all the work it has done for you from the start of your life until today, and for everything it will still do for you in the future.
( I had difficulties at first to raise a genuine feeling of love, and was browsing through my memory for moments where I felt strong love for my children, my pets, my husband and family and tried to transmit this feeling to my heart or inner child.)
Then also send love and gratitude towards your body telling it the same.
To close the meditation, same as above.
This second part can be repeated until, later on, the emotions of this part will not come up same as before, what is a sign of a certain healing process. (Nevertheless from time to time we are repeating this part in our course.)
(My own experience with this meditation is that I feel more in tune with my body and soul, I'm stronger and more balanced, and cannot easily been hurt by whatever bad or aggressive comments people make about me with others, or directing towards me. I can now see that they have the problem, and I can either smile about it, if it seems childish to me, or feel compassion for them, or simply keep away from this kind of people when I first meet them, as I seem to know their way even before they show it. The first part of the meditation is something that I use regularly. Being thankful, grateful! I'm closing the day, being thankful for everything it brought me and for my cozy bed, and opening the new day on the next morning, being grateful that I'm still here, in good health, being able to eat my hunger, having a roof over my head, together with my family on this beautiful earth. I can recommend that, as it helps to stay happy. I'm not dwelling on the bad things happening in the world. Most of them I cannot change from where I am at. The only person I can change, is myself. Do I love everybody? I'm not yet far enough evolved to be able to do that, but I try to have understanding, not to hurt people in any respect. So I'm not yet through, there are still a lot of things left for me to learn.)