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Hello all, I am looking to talk with others about their NDE and how it has changed their life. I was clinically dead for roughly an hour and 20 minutes from what I was told and experienced the afterlife in great detail. I have yet to open up to anyone and talk about it, or even started talking to a therapist and it is beginning to take a toll on my social life because I feel estranged and distant from any and every one. I look forward to meeting you all and I hope to hear about how your experience has shaped your new social life.
Ferdinkledink wrote: Hello all, I am looking to talk with others about their NDE and how it has changed their life. I was clinically dead for roughly an hour and 20 minutes from what I was told and experienced the afterlife in great detail. I have yet to open up to anyone and talk about it, or even started talking to a therapist and it is beginning to take a toll on my social life because I feel estranged and distant from any and every one. I look forward to meeting you all and I hope to hear about how your experience has shaped your new social life.


Hello Ferdinkledink and Welcome! You have come to the right place! We would all love to hear about your NDE :)

I did not had one myself but I have felt myself outside of my body and had many other spiritually relevant experiences. I can very well understand your feelings of being distant and estranged to people who do not share these experiences and the values that arise from it. To me, most things people usually talk about and what they want and plan seems rather shallow and worthless. Loneliness has been my constant companion throughout my life. I am learning to turn within and relax into myself to feel nourished and whole - only from there a bridge to other people can be built.

What also helps me a lot is connecting with nature. Plants, trees, animals, even insects, I'm so fascinated by them all and love them so much. Taking care of other living beings makes it easier for me to feel connected.

I'm sure others here who have had a more detailed experience will soon chime in. Please feel free to share your NDE if you like. What was the reason you were clinically dead? How long ago did it happen? Are you physically okay now?

You might find some people dropping out of your life and new ones enter who understand you better. Give it some time.

Sending you a big hug! :)
Thank you so much for responding. It made me smile because it is the first time someone learned about/acknowledged the fact that I have been to the other side. It only happened a few months ago and I've been coping since then and I am finding that I struggle socially now. Yes, I am physically okay, even though by all accounts of the doctors I am supposed to be dead and even after that, the following 8 days of me being on life support they told my family I would be in a permanent vegetative state.

Yes I have noticed people dropping out of my life, and I make it difficult for new ones to enter, because like you said, I don't connect with many people yet because their plans and desires are so shallow and worthless to me.

You helped me understand why I am always wanting to be alone in nature, and I feel better knowing I am not alone. I can't thank you enough for the kind words, and I gladly accept your big hug.
Ferdinkledink wrote: Thank you so much for responding. It made me smile because it is the first time someone learned about/acknowledged the fact that I have been to the other side. It only happened a few months ago and I've been coping since then and I am finding that I struggle socially now. Yes, I am physically okay, even though by all accounts of the doctors I am supposed to be dead and even after that, the following 8 days of me being on life support they told my family I would be in a permanent vegetative state.

Yes I have noticed people dropping out of my life, and I make it difficult for new ones to enter, because like you said, I don't connect with many people yet because their plans and desires are so shallow and worthless to me.

You helped me understand why I am always wanting to be alone in nature, and I feel better knowing I am not alone. I can't thank you enough for the kind words, and I gladly accept your big hug.


I'm so happy my post made you smile :) No you are definitely not alone.

Sounds like you recovered against all odds (physically I mean)! I have seen this kind of unexpected recovery in quite a number of NDE stories, in fact I was just now reading one, an attempted suicide where the person had taken such a high dose of some kind of drug or med, their kidneys and liver should have been toast, but all organs recovered just fine. Fascinating! Were your doctors baffled?
Welcome Ferdinkledink

We here look forward to you enjoying you stay with us as we have many people here who do understand .

I myself have not had an NDE but had an Out of Body experience

Should you be interested here is the link to my story

What Brought Me Here
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Why Am I Here




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Welcome, Ferdinkledink!

So glad you survived and are here back, able to share your experience and make the most of it. I quite understand the way you feel, but I also feel you are very brave and assertive to reach out for others who are deeply willing to hear your story and share their own. This is most definitely a life changing event.

I look forward to hearing all about it, as soon as you feel ready. :F
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
Welcome, I'm so glad you found us so early on after your world shattering experience!
It is my heartfelt intention, and I am 100% convinced I share this with (almost?) everyone on this board, that you find people who understand what you have experienced and can validate it so you don't feel rejected by everyone and start thinking that maybe you are going nuts. (sorry for the long sentence, but if you think reading that was hard, try editing it!)
Because you are not going nuts, you are not imagining things, it was not the meds, it was not hypoxia; it was a miracle and I pity those who lack the experience to recognize that deceptively simple fact!
Don't be mad at yourself for having a hard time; it can take years (even decades) to integrate this experience into your earth life and build a new world view from the rubble of shattered debris, useful bits and pieces and shiny jewels that is what I imagine your life resembles now.

I didn't have an NDE myself (well, it depends on the definition, I call it a Spiritually Transforming Experience) so I have been out of this world and into the LOVE, and I knew then as I do now that (cue; Bob Marley) "Every little thing; gonna be alright!" Other than that I'm just an ignoramus trying to find out what the heck I'm supposed to be doing on this beautiful big blue ball I find myself on.
I know its hard to commit to writing down your experience, particularly so soon, but it would be awesome if you could submit your experience by filling out the survey. http://www.nderf.org/ShareNDE.html
Maybe then you could share the link, because we love to read about what others experienced on the other side, the good and the bad.
Hopefully we can help by giving back a little of the love we received.
Hang in there!
I sincerely want to thank each of you for taking the time to write something to me. As I said, this is the first I have talked about it, and reading some of what you wrote was very comforting as I am still in the middle of the debris of this experience.

I have combed through a lot of NDE stories on this site and on a few others in hopes of finding some that can help me deal with some of the things I experienced. I can say that some of my experience was beyond words in how terrifying it was, and the rest was beyond words in how magnificent it was.

I saw past events, that there is no earthly way I could have known about –much less seen-, and was given messages to return by passed loved ones to a couple living people. I was shown future events, which is the main reason I am scared to write down my story. A chunk of what I experienced dealt with things that have not happened yet, example; seeing the way loved ones will die, future life changing accidents for people, and so on. Some of which have already came to pass. This is the single hardest part to sleep with at night.

I feel like I am coping quite well with everything, and I have spent the last couple weeks writing down “keywords” that will ensure I don’t leave out portions of the experience. I am really struggling socially as I have started to withdraw from people… at the risk of sounding big headed, I just don’t feel like anyone is at my level of understanding so I feel distant from everyone. I can’t hardly find anything about how people have adapted socially after having an experience to the degree of mine. Any and all advice/tips are greatly appreciated.
F:
Hello all, I am looking to talk with others about their NDE and how it has changed their life.
... it is beginning to take a toll on my social life because I feel estranged and distant from any and every one. I look forward to meeting you all and I hope to hear about how your experience has shaped your new social life
....at the risk of sounding big headed, I just don’t feel like anyone is at my level of understanding so I feel distant from everyone. I can’t hardly find anything about how people have adapted socially after having an experience to the degree of mine. Any and all advice/tips are greatly appreciated.


F.
Welcome. I wish something like this site would have been available when I was trying to integrate my nde. People like you are the reason I continue to visit.

For me, it took a very long time to work on being comfortable in this world again. I hate to say it, but it took...years.
Initially, I felt like nobody 'got it'. Everyone was just going about their daily routines, consumed with useless tasks, completely unaware of the important stuff, which wasn't 'stuff' at all.

I had much difficulty being in crowds, I felt as if I could almost read peoples minds and sense their troubles. All this was too overwhelming for me, and I began to avoid places with too many people. I must confess, I still do not like crowds, they make me feel claustrophobic, but not with the same intensity as they did in my early years.

My nde was positive and loving. I know that I have a 'presence' that loves me and knows everything about me, and still loves me. I also, have come to realize that most people haven't had the gift of an nde, thus, are unaware of what is truly important. I think they are searching, often by consuming material things, trying to fill a longing. Most people don't have the clarity an experiencer possesses, they are not able to immediately cut though the BS and see our reality. Therefore, I can only accept others for who they are, and realize that they are on their own journey.

Socially, I have integrated well now, as I have come to know that I was sent to a life here on earth and there must be a reason for my being here. I trust there is a reason, even if I do not know the reason. I have a responsibility to live this life, and one day, when it's time, I will go 'home' again.
Ferdinkledink wrote: A chunk of what I experienced dealt with things that have not happened yet, example; seeing the way loved ones will die, future life changing accidents for people, and so on. Some of which have already came to pass. This is the single hardest part to sleep with at night.


Hi, Ferdinkledink!

I realise this is a very delicate and personal aspect of your experience. Since you say this is the single hardest part to sleep with at night, I thought I might suggest some examples about the fact that the future is not set in stone but, at the same time, if something is already in the works, i.e. everything is already flowing in a certain direction, at the time of your experience and from the unique perspective you had during your NDE, you could have well seen a future event that could not be changed. But this need not mean that all the future events you saw will take place.

For instance, there have been NDErs who have been granted a vision of how their families would have coped without them for the rest of their lives, and yet this vision of the future never materialised as they were revived and came back, and by coming back, made the difference in their loved ones' lives.

More generally, in the article Some People Receive Verified Visions of the Future by Kevin Williams, it is said:

Near-death experiencers have received visions of the future, both personal and apocalyptic. Some were told the future is not predetermined because humans have the power to change it by enlightening the awareness of enough people to change current trends. In this respect, an apocalyptic prophecy that doesn't occur is a prophecy that was successful. An apocalyptic prophecy that occurs is a failure.


Generally speaking, based on my own personal experience concerning visions of the future, the closest the future event, the highest the chances that it might be already in the works. However, irrespective of this, the very case of NDErs who were given the opportunity to see the future of their loved ones had they died for good, is a crucial example of the power that future predictions depend on a number of circumstances and that we play a key role in future events, thanks to our free will.

Regarding apocalyptic predictions, once again based on my understanding, I feel that each of us plays a crucial role in preventing them from happening, thanks to the ripple effect that love and compassion, as experienced on the other side, have on this side, if only we realise how powerful we are in sharing that love with others and allowing for it to become contagious.

Last but not least, based on my own experience and on accounts from other NDErs, visions of the future (also of a personal nature) may come as some form of warning, so that, if the outcome is not a happy and/or beneficial one, you get a chance to change it.

I realise it does take time and patience to adjust after, and make the most of such a life-changing event, but please know you are not alone.


I hope this helps.
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
ano1 - In reply to everything you said... You really hit the nail on the head with all of your social setting descriptions, this is exactly how I feel, but I do not feel like I can read minds, but I do sense their troubles, I just feel overwhelmed with the ability to "read" each and every person without knowing them. I have grown to hate the small talk in life and even talking about the past at all.

I find no reason to talk about the past, and the majority of all conversation is either small talk or about the past. I find myself shutting down when in these situations and I get dubbed "the mute" because of it.

Ano1, I see you had an NDE, and I would love to ask you some things... A few being, Assuming you had your life review..

1. I too had a very loving experience in which I could not feel anything except for peace, love, and joy. However; when facing my life review, I did feel earthly feelings - the main one was regret for how I had been living - Were you allowed to feel "other" feelings besides peace love and joy during your life review?

2. I've read a lot of NDE's and all of them tell about after their life review, how they were told "it isn't your time" or "you have to go back now"... I have not found one that says they were given "the choice". I was, and I sincerely feel like when I answered "yes", it was the exact moment I was returned (Going against roughly 9 Doctors words saying I would not live.)

3. When you first sat down to write down your NDE, did you sit blankly staring and a computer screen, or blank piece of paper not knowing where to begin because you just get lost with everything you experienced?


Giulia - I understand completely what you are referring to about being able to affect the future with our free will. I did see both things - some which I could impact, and others I could not. There are some things I feel like I need to have an impact on, but I don't know how to approach it because I can't simply approach these people and say "I saw so and so is going to happen so you need to do this". I would sound like a crazy person..

I love the fact that I feel like I have a "safe place support system" with this forum. I am beyond grateful that I found this place and that each of you are taking the time to reply and put in your two cents.
Ferdinkledink wrote: 2. I've read a lot of NDE's and all of them tell about after their life review, how they were told "it isn't your time" or "you have to go back now"... I have not found one that says they were given "the choice". I was, and I sincerely feel like when I answered "yes", it was the exact moment I was returned (Going against roughly 9 Doctors words saying I would not live.)


Did you read Anita Moorjani's NDE? She was given the choice to come back or stay. She was also very sick (end stage cancer) and thought not to live.

http://www.nderf.org/NDERF/NDE_Experien ... 7s_nde.htm

I'm sure I have read others where the person had the choice but can't recall their names now.
Martina wrote:
Ferdinkledink wrote: 2. I've read a lot of NDE's and all of them tell about after their life review, how they were told "it isn't your time" or "you have to go back now"... I have not found one that says they were given "the choice". I was, and I sincerely feel like when I answered "yes", it was the exact moment I was returned (Going against roughly 9 Doctors words saying I would not live.)


Did you read Anita Moorjani's NDE? She was given the choice to come back or stay. She was also very sick (end stage cancer) and thought not to live.

http://www.nderf.org/NDERF/NDE_Experien ... 7s_nde.htm

I'm sure I have read others where the person had the choice but can't recall their names now.


Thank you so much for linking me to this. Seeing that someone else has experienced this made my heart actually skip a beat and my eyes water. I have no idea why!
Hi Ferdinkledink,
Welcome at the forum.
Ferdinkledink wrote: 2. I've read a lot of NDE's and all of them tell about after their life review, how they were told "it isn't your time" or "you have to go back now"... I have not found one that says they were given "the choice". I was, and I sincerely feel like when I answered "yes", it was the exact moment I was returned (Going against roughly 9 Doctors words saying I would not live.)


I have translated quite a lot of NDE's where people had the choice, and some even were warned that their future life on earth would be extremely hard if they decided to go back. In the archives of the year 2009 there are quite a number of accounts. I cannot give a specific now, but would suggest to try reading through that year.
Ferdinkledink wrote: Thank you so much for linking me to this. Seeing that someone else has experienced this made my heart actually skip a beat and my eyes water. I have no idea why!


Tears of joy Ferdinkledink, and the whole universe celebrates. You are not alone! :)
F:
Ano1, I see you had an NDE, and I would love to ask you some things... A few being, Assuming you had your life review..

1. I too had a very loving experience in which I could not feel anything except for peace, love, and joy. However; when facing my life review, I did feel earthly feelings - the main one was regret for how I had been living - Were you allowed to feel "other" feelings besides peace love and joy during your life review?

2. I've read a lot of NDE's and all of them tell about after their life review, how they were told "it isn't your time" or "you have to go back now"... I have not found one that says they were given "the choice". I was, and I sincerely feel like when I answered "yes", it was the exact moment I was returned (Going against roughly 9 Doctors words saying I would not live.)

3. When you first sat down to write down your NDE, did you sit blankly staring and a computer screen, or blank piece of paper not knowing where to begin because you just get lost with everything you experienced?


Sadly, I had just composed a very detailed answer to your questions and then poof, it disappeared. I will try to recapture some of it. Dang it.

F.
You may ask me any question. I am no longer shy about my nde or other things. I'm happy to help anyone to feel more comfortable, understood and accepted. I have been visiting this site since about 1999. Hopefully you will find some comfort here, I know I have, at times.


1. I was a teen when I had my experience, so, thankfully, I did not have adult regrets to deal with.
I did feel other peoples emotions during the review. I felt how my interactions with them had made them feel. I felt remorse for my actions. One example, that comes quickly to mind, is a time when I was very young and had pushed a younger sister off a tricycle that I wanted to play with. She felt emotionally hurt, that her big sister would do such a mean thing to her, because... she looked up to me. I felt saddened by that. (I was probably only, four or five, at the time of this action, but, I could feel her sadness and see her in a green and white checkered dress, that my mother had made for her. The visuals and emotions were so vibrant and real). Other incidents were similar, right up to the age of 15, which is how old I was during my nde.

2. I was given a choice. I was asked, "Do you want to stay, or go back?" I wanted to stay, but looked down and saw my mom so distraught that I felt her pain, and then... was instantly back. For many years I was angry, as I felt as though I didn't have a chance to think it over. At some point I realized my tie to this life was still present and therefore, just thinking about here... was my choice.

3. Writing my story was very emotional. I relived it. I saw it all again, in my minds eye, and was emotional for weeks afterward. Heck, I still get emotional daily when I let it into my conscious mind. I feel the love with me at all times. I know it is within me. I love that.
I wrote my story many years after it happened. I wish I had written it soon after the experience and then kept a diary over the years...all the changes and things I had to go though...to feel comfortable and less isolated...to integrate back. (Something for you to think about.)
I had my experience in 1971...at the time the term, nde, did not exist; such things were not accepted or discussed. I soon learned not to talk about it and hid it very well for a while. Thankfully, now, we experiencers can be much more open, at least here, we can, and at times, I am even comfortable sharing in person. Things have come a long way. Many thanks, to the Longs, and all who keep this site going.
Ferdinkledink, I was just browsing the "Current NDE's" stories page and came across this one, by Brenda, who was also given the choice to stay or go back.

http://www.nderf.org/NDERF/NDE_Experien ... _c_nde.htm
Ferdinkledink wrote: Giulia - I understand completely what you are referring to about being able to affect the future with our free will. I did see both things - some which I could impact, and others I could not. There are some things I feel like I need to have an impact on, but I don't know how to approach it because I can't simply approach these people and say "I saw so and so is going to happen so you need to do this". I would sound like a crazy person...


I see your point, Ferdinkledink! I can't even begin to imagine how frustrating it can be, though I have faced something similar with out of the body experiences. Time on "this side" seems to last for ever, when you "know" things from a different perspective. I do encourage you to take notes of all your impressions and thoughts, as I have found that writing down your memories and insights, immediately, and as time goes by, as ano1 suggests, is a really precious tool, and it may actually help you to get the further insights you are looking for to have the impact you wish to have :)

ano1 wrote: I wish something like this site would have been available when I was trying to integrate my nde. People like you are the reason I continue to visit.


Hi, Ano1! Whenever I read snippets of your acccount I am simply fashinated and in awe. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. I am ever so sorry for the sense of isolation... I am glad we now have new technologies that allow people to be in touch!

:F

P.S.:

ano1 wrote: Sadly, I had just composed a very detailed answer to your questions and then poof, it disappeared. I will try to recapture some of it.


The Team is working on extending the login time. So sorry about that!
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
Martina wrote: ANITA M.' NDE


Thank you so much for the reminder, Martina. I am reading her full account now, and find it fascinating. Thanks :D

P.S. I have adjusted the link to include the aniwindow function. Maybe that is the technical problem you are having with links. Can you get to Anita's account page from the link I provided?
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
I love the support you guys are throwing my way, and it has gotten to the point that I look forward to getting on here and hearing from people that are now "wise" to what comes after this life and what is really important in life.

I don't know why but I feel like my story/experience is supposed to reach people... maybe that is common in a lot of people's NDE/OBE. I'm in my late 20's and I've never been more alone and alive. It is crazy to try and describe, but I feel like you all already know what I am trying to say before I say it, which is why I love this place.

Do any of you know of any NDE stories that had a combined good and evil experience?

Are there descriptions about the "one" that gave them their life review? (This whole life I was told about the pearly gates, come to find out, there were no gates where I was.)

I have searched for something near me that has social groups that meet and talk about things like this, but the closest thing I can find are spirituality groups, has anyone ever tried these out? I feel like this topic is best talked about over coffee and an open ended evening... maybe that's just me.
Giulia wrote:
Martina wrote: ANITA M.' NDE


Thank you so much for the reminder, Martina. I am reading her full account now, and find it fascinating. Thanks :D

P.S. I have adjusted the link to include the aniwindow function. Maybe that is the technical problem you are having with links. Can you get to Anita's account page from the link I provided?


Thank you Giulia! No, sadly this link does not work for me - as all the others it leads me to the forum main page. So it seems, for some reason my browser can not handle the "aniwindow" function. I will try Chrome and report back - will do that in the other dedicated thread though as to not derail this one.
Welcome Ferdinkledink from Idaho!
My NDE has changed my life for the better & I'm more outgoing. Every morning is wonderful due to almost loosening everything.
I had to resort to humor to help with the realization that I had died and was given a second chance. Such as I scratched off dieing on my bucket list etc.
My NDE is still fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday.
My personal doctor told me I was suffering from lack of oxygen for what I experienced. On my last visit he was full of questions due to a close friend having an NDE.
It's going to take some time to get used to the experience enjoy every day....

Anyway welcome enjoy your stay........
That’s very kind of you, Ferdinkledink! :D

I was just wondering, when you mentioned difficulties in writing down some sort of account of your experience and sitting

Ferdinkledink wrote: blankly staring at a computer screen, or blank piece of paper not knowing where to begin because you just get lost with everything you experienced


that Dennis’ suggestion your fill in the questionnaire you find here http://www.nderf.org/ShareNDE.html might actually be a good idea even only as a start, as the questionnaire is specially designed to help you out with collecting your thoughts, even if you do not submit it right away.

Ferdinkledink wrote: I have searched for something near me that has social groups that meet and talk about things like this, but the closest thing I can find are spirituality groups, has anyone ever tried these out? I feel like this topic is best talked about over coffee and an open ended evening... maybe that's just me.


I quite understand the need to get socially in touch with people to talk about this life-changing event. The point is that every experience is unique, you are unique, and even in spirituality groups one actually needs to make sure that the person or people you are talking to are open minded and curious.

On the other hand, I have always loved to hear first-hand NDE accounts, but the opportunities I have had so far are really slight and maybe the reason is that people are extremely cautious about sharing these experiences. Whenever I come across somebody who is brave enough to tell me about their experience I consider it a tremendous privilege.

So maybe one needs to be cautious and brave at the same time :P But you are right: social interaction about these topics is very much needed, so that death and the afterlife may not be regarded as a taboo subject, and the life-changing effect of a NDE or any other spiritually transformative experience can have the required impact on our lives here and now.

About the uniqueness of the experience, you mentioned gates: well, I suppose you could consider the "gates" a symbol. In the NDERF questionnaire you are asked whether during your experience you felt you came to a boundary or point of no return: that sounds a much broader way of describing the "gate" sensation, doesn't it?

Once again, I hope some of this helps :F
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
I would love to hear your story! I haven't had an NDE myself, but I would think you are in the right place for that.
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