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I just finished watching a movie called “Aftermath” starring Arnold Schwarzenegger released in 2017. It’s a most amazing movie. The description of the movie I saw said “Two strangers’ lives become inextricably bound together after a devastating plane crash,” and I found that to be a misleading description. Because the movie is about how grief can lead to crime, which can lead to grief.

I am also reading a book these days by a Psychic Lawyer named, Mark Anthony, in which he explains how the failure to cope with grief can cause grief to fester, perhaps resurfacing in behaviors that result in criminal activity, and/or rage, aggression, addiction, predator behavior and even murder!

The movie “Aftermath” is about a grieving man (Arnold Schwarzenegger) who hunts down the air-traffic controller involved in the plane crash that killed his wife and daughter, and stabs him to death.

The movie does explore the dark depths of grief. I found that the movie is mostly an in-depth look at grief.

I am 57 now, and it’s only been the last 6 or 7 years that I’ve truly become aware of how deeply some people grieve. It has been a revelation to me, as I personally, have never grieved too heavily over any of the many people I’ve known who died. I had no idea that people can grieve so hard that it takes their life over, or even ruins their life.

For me, since I was a child, I always believed that there is a God and an afterlife, and that I will see the people who die there again after I die. And I’ve always believed that no one dies before their time. That is, people die when they’re supposed to die. I’ve always believed that to be true, even if a person dies in an accident.

Since then I have read from NDE materials, that some people have exit points, and choose on a subconscious level, when to die. But regardless of when the exit takes place, a person dies when they are meant to die, unless they kill themselves of course.

I even read a book by another Medium who talked about grieving a lot over her father’s death. And this is a mystery to me, because you would think a Medium would know that he or she will be talking to that deceased loved one again, quite soon, before the Medium ever dies.

For me, this has all been an education, and I feel blessed that I’ve always firmly believed that there is a God and an Afterlife, and you will see you’re loved ones again after you die. So there’s no need to worry folks, things will be fine.

I’ve had many after-death communications in my life, but those experiences are not directly tied to my thoughts or feelings about grief. My grief education is really separate from my after-death communication experiences.

When my ADCs first started, I was feeling more like, is this real? Or is it all just my imagination? But as I’ve written in other posts I’ve made on this board, I’m having daily ADCs with a long-deceased special love of mine, and they are still going on for a year and a half now, and over time I really have come to believe even more that our deceased loved ones really are all around us, all the time, and the miss us too, and they do what they can to show us love and help us out day to day, just like books by Mediums say.

So for me, my relationship with my special deceased-love has taken on new “life”, if you will. I feel we have our own special ways of communicating, and we communicate 3 or 4 times per day on average. Each day he gives me love, kisses, hugs, encouragement and stress relief. He loves me in other words, and he works hard to show it each day. And I thank him for it at least once per day, and do my best to give him love back. I strongly believe that him and I will be together when I die, that finally we will get our chance.

I’ve read a lot of afterlife-related material, because having ADCs from a special loved one every day, causes one to want to know how that works, or fits, in God’s universe. And during the course of my reading, I have read of stories where a deceased-romantic interest has waited for someone in the afterlife, and the couple are indeed, together in the afterlife when the second person dies. So I know, it’s not an impossible idea.

It seems to me that grieving causes one to grapple with what it is they believe about God and the universe. And what they believe about who controls life, and how life works. I have never believed that I control life and death. I have always believed that God controls that. Therefore, if someone dies in an accident there is no point thinking “I should have done this or that,” and the person would have not died. God controls life and death, not us.

I think that grief is a challenge to what one believes, especially if they are grieving heavily. And people will think what they want, and believe what they want. But from my perspective, it is sad to see people grieve so heavily, whether the person grieving is someone I know, or not.

I hope this helps whoever reads this, as that is what its meant to do.

God Bless
Dear MysterySeeker, what a wonderful post, touching on so many interesting aspects of death and grief!

I have always wondered about the notion that we have free will and the idea that the date and time of our transition is something that is already fixed. I have also wondered about the fact that, in the case of NDEs, people who remember the experience often remember they were given a choice to come back. I keep wondering about those who might have been given a choice and decided not come back.

About ADC experiencers and Mediums grieving over the loss of their loved ones, I feel this is natural, as we are equipped to focus on the physical side of life and it is a shock not to be able to physically share this life with a loved one all of a sudden. In fact, I have found that grief is one of the facts that hinders spirit communication, as it involves the need to process the new situation on this plane, where we also have to deal with linear time and the time it takes us to process the physical loss of a loved one.

Here is why I cannot understand why many contracts of employment over here only provide for 3-day vacation in the event of the death of a family member, including a spouse or even a child. No matter how deeply we believe that the connection will be reestablished, I feel we should be granted understanding at such times, as we are not robots.

Your wrote:

MysterySeeker wrote: And during the course of my reading, I have read of stories where a deceased-romantic interest has waited for someone in the afterlife, and the couple are indeed, together in the afterlife when the second person dies. So I know, it’s not an impossible idea.


I am not sure I understand what you mean. Do you mind providing an example?

Blessings
Giulia
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
Hi Giulia,

I'm just referring to stories where one spouse dies, and that spouse waits for the living spouse to die and join him or her. :)
Hi Giulia,

You wrote: “About ADC experiencers and Mediums grieving over the loss of their loved ones, I feel this is natural, as we are equipped to focus on the physical side of life and it is a shock not to be able to physically share this life with a loved one all of a sudden.”

I’ve never really had an experience where death was a shock to me, but I have not known anyone who died suddenly. All people in my life who died, died of illness, so I could see it coming, and I was aware of the fact that they will be gone. Perhaps I would think/feel differently if I had ever known anyone who died suddenly and unexpectedly.

Just as there are those in our society that grieve too heavily, there obviously are some who adjust to death quicker, and that’s most likely why we have 3-day vacation for the death of a family member. Again, though, I’ve not had the problem where I could not get enough time off when someone died.

My Dad died when I was 18, during my final exams in grade 12. I did have to get an extension on one final exam, but that was not a problem.

Mostly I have personally known people who adjust to death in a reasonable amount of time and get back to life, or at least, they appear to do so from what I can see. It’s only in recent years where I’ve gotten to know someone who is still grieving heavily for her parent’s death, 5 years after the event. Both parents died of illness and she could see it coming. The woman says she believes in Jesus and God, but it seems to offer her no consolation in her grief.

I’ve always known as far back as I can remember, that death is a part of life, so expect it, and that helps me be ready for it.

God Bless
Hi guys. My two cents.

I know that life continues and is as it is supposed to be. I too, believe that we die when we are expected to return to God.
But, here, we are human. And because of that we are blessed with feelings, in a human way. Therefore, we grieve because we are human.
I am old enough to have lost many relatives and a few friends. The older ones were old, and in so, were expected to go. Those are easier to deal with. But, I had a sister who died suddenly, and I was devastated...oh, sure I knew she was fine...but "I" wasn't for a very long time...I missed her so much it hurt. And still feel an empty place where she once was.
I think this is normal for us as humans. I also think once we are gone, none of these emotions will exist. But, while here I want to feel and live the human experience. I think it is meant to be that way.

My two cents. ano
Thanks MysterySeeker for explaining that sentence to me.

And thanks, ano, for your thoughts. That is exactly what I was trying to say. I can't honestly judge other people based on the amount of time it takes them to adjust or not adjust to the physical loss of a loved one. We are human and we are different. We all experience things in our unique way. I do not feel there is a right or wrong way of grieving and, if people need to pretend it is normal to 'move on', then I feel there must be something wrong about the way society expects us to be.

MysterySeeker wrote: It’s only in recent years where I’ve gotten to know someone who is still grieving heavily for her parent’s death, 5 years after the event. Both parents died of illness and she could see it coming. The woman says she believes in Jesus and God, but it seems to offer her no consolation in her grief.


I also feel that those who are blessed with having first-hand experience about life gently continuing after death are certainly best equipped to deal with a physical loss than somebody who has to rely on a belief system hinging on faith only.

This having been said, I have a personal theory I developed at least 15 years ago, based on which, irrespective of whether we believe or not believe that life continues after death, we all get a chance to meet our loved ones in spirit, in our dreams or at a subconscious level, until, after a variable amount of time (since we exist in linear time) we may start feeling safer and happier about the situation sometimes with no apparent reason. Here is why the notion that 'time heals all' has some meaning: not because we are getting used to a new situation but because we are gently reconnecting with our loved one at a non-physical level, whether we realise or not.

This is of course just my personal opinion based on personal experience.
Hello from Italy - How I found out about NDERF - A Strange Experience
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