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We are designing a brochure on a couple of topics related to dying.

One is grief management. What would you suggest is important information to put in a brochure?

What other topics – like maybe dying with dignity? Transition to the other side? Preparing for end of life? Coping with loss for the living?

Let me know your thoughts,

Take care,

Jody
Good morning Jody

The usual topics with added emphasis on death merely being a transistion, that your loved one is in a happier, fuller life - not irretrievably lost to loved ones, just a brief separation.

Henry Scott Holland, (1847-1918), wrote several reassuring poems about death:

A POEM ON DYING
I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length she hangs
like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky
come to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"
"'Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her load of
living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says
"There, she is gone!"
there are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout,
"Here she comes!"
And that is dying.

and this one which I read at my father's funeral:

DEATH IS NOTHING AT ALL
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.
Very Sweet! Thanks!

Jody
Hi Jody,
Maybe giving addresses where people could connect with NDErs volunteering to help?
Marguy
We are designing a brochure on a couple of topics related to dying.

One is grief management. What would you suggest is important information to put in a brochure?

What other topics – like maybe dying with dignity? Transition to the other side? Preparing for end of life? Coping with loss for the living?

Let me know your thoughts,

Take care,

Jody

After having recently experienced the loss of two close family members and having witnessed many deaths with and without loved ones present, this topic is foremost in my mind. I have been thinking about a reply to your question.

I think it important to convey to loved ones that it is okay to touch, get close and talk with the dying person, not to be afraid of this, it is a precious, special time...an opportunity that will never be present again. Be yourself, talk, touch, let love flow...the minutes can be very fleeting. I have seen an intimate closeness take place at these times. It takes courage... but, Oh, the reward can be...ahh, something else.

As for grief management - speak about the fact that anger is a normal part of grief, I think people tend to feel guilty about being angry, but, we do tend to be angry at the deceased for having left us. This is a normal emotion and it's okay to be angry. Also, grief is different for individuals, some people want and need to talk about it, others not so much. And, don't let anyone tell you that you should be over your grief too soon...it takes time, sometimes months or even years.

The gift of Reassurance - There is life after this one. A beautiful, fullness that we can only imagine. Speak of the nde's and the hope, the amazing love, the acceptance, a life that most of us wanted to stay with but agreed to return from, knowing it to be a temporary return. The knowledge from the nde that life on the other side is good, without pain or sorrow. A life with incredible clarity of all things -- it's wonderful.

As for dying with dignity. I think the family of a dying person needs to be realistic. So many times I have seen families, say, 'Do everything to keep him or her alive'... pleading unrealistically --when the person is in fact ready to go... but, the pleading keeps the person from letting go, thus robbing everyone of this precious, very special, time. Many of us tend to be selfish in this way, but very often it is not the right thing to do.

Now, I'm just rambling. Sorry, hope it makes some usable sense.
Good morning Anne

This wasn't a 'ramble' - this was something people need to know, if they don't already.

These words, or something very close, would be ideal in a brochure about dying.

Cathy
Thanks. I hope so.
I tend to go on here late at night when I should be going to bed. So, I am not always as clear as I'd like to be.
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