LOG JAM to HEAVEN

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Kundalini123
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Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:50 pm

LOG JAM to HEAVEN

Post by Kundalini123 » Mon Nov 12, 2018 12:37 am

Hello, thank you for tuning in.

I am here to share my five unconscious experiences that I have remembered parts of. So very much can happen so quickly that even though effort is made to retain, it slips away like water.

WALLEY
I'm sixty-seven now, but when I was nearly five my family was visiting another family in Walley B.C. Canada. Their house was on an empty city block and tumbleweed grew everywhere.
The dads and boys were playing baseball using a galvanized pipe as a bat, as well as a piece of teakwood I have heard. The story has changed by others but this is what I truly believe took place. My sister and I were crouched amongst those tumbleweeds watching or playing field I suppose, Dad swung his bat, hitting the ball, and the pipe swirled up into the air twirling like a baton and I watched it coming overhead, then I remember nothing.
There isn't to much remarkable here to report other than coming in and out of consciousness as I was driven eventually to Royal Columbian Hospital, in a police car. My dad was suffering and the traffic heavy so he asked a parked officer for help.
I recall hearing my dad tell another fellow later, how he thought he could grip the threads on the pipe. I wasn't mad at him at all. I will say though, that somewhere in these early years I had a strong knowing not to tell lies. This agreement not to lie is between me and God. I wish I could remember the exact lesson that taught me that but it is very strong. For some reason I know I learned this during an unconscious state. This was the first head injury and the scar remains.

AMBLESIDE
Now, nearly nine, my family traveled in the old international truck towards Ambleside Beach in West Vancouver. I sat behind my very pregnant mother. She was expecting her sixth. My father was screaming and throwing his arms around as he drove. I had gone into heart arrest in grief for my mother in her condition and the baby. I tried to "take in" some of her pain.
She was not wanting to leave her three oldest at the park while they shopped for groceries with the younger two.
We arrived and parked long the curb. As Dad picked me out of the truck and put me onto the ground I looked down wondering if my legs would move. A head-injured spinning girl I was, but the single bars were crowded. Needing to be alone I wandered away to the empty parallel bars, off by itself.
After some moments of daydreaming I caught myself, and not wanting to be seen doing so, I went into an effortless drop down, expecting to float up atop of the bar like a feather, as I had done a thousand million times. Instead my mouth kissed the other bar, coming up the other side. OMG.
The last thing I saw was my right hand about to leave the bar. I "commanded" it to "hang onto that bar"!. It did not. That's all. Or so I thought at the time.

When I awoke I made my way back to where the towels were laid and cried. Other children were gathering about staring. My older brother was hopping from foot to foot upset and screaming,
"Nancy, stop bleeding on the grass, people have to sit there!".
It was a tough time, I just cried and bled.
A lady was sitting with children on a towel nearby. She had red hair. She talked to my brother and learned we were alone. She then decided to take me to the police and fire station just right there on the corner.
Uniformed officers washed my face in their own sink by the fire trucks. I could see they were very upset, but I did not know why.
One officer asked if I was missing any teeth. I replied yes as I had lost some molars recently. They were greatly relieved, but not really. The kind lady with red hair took me back to the play area.

It was hours before I saw the truck coming along Marine Drive and then down into the park. Choking tears I stood like a scarecrow and trying to walk towards them, when something very strange strikes me . I see my mother's face in the open window and I heard her voice calling "Oh George, she's hurt!".

"WAIT A MINUTE!' I'm thinking to myself and I can't believe it.

"Wait a minute, how can you be here?" "I JUST SAW YOU THERE!!
Up there, IN HEAVEN!!"
The child of me is stunned.
It was her face on one of the angels. But THAT MOTHER, that one up there in heaven, well, she was a hundred times prettier,, and a hundred times more loving and wonderful and kind. I looked at this rough facsimile of her down here and saw her as an unpolished rock.
The whole experience was tumbling back to me now. There were maybe seven angels, another looked like Mom's brother Harold, and he too was a spectacular being. We could dance and frolic, hug and still pass through each other. Such a wonderful time I was having that I asked if I could stay there. One angel spoke "Oh, but remember the plan?"
"Oh yeah, that's right!" I exclaimed and went excitedly down, back to my body.
So here I am now, looking at my primitive mother, and knowing inside me that there was much more to her than I knew of "down here!"
I was forever changed.
I was now knowing "WHO she really was".

PARK AND SUNNYSIDE
Well the "SHE" noticed how I was quiet and did not need to reach to her for help. Going to a bible camp would do me well? So I was put on a bus somewhere in Vancouver that took girls I did not know, to Cultus Lake, B.C.
Most of the long ride I sat alone and afraid, for I was still not well. When the bus finally arrived at the lake head and turned to go down Sunnyside Boulevard I became instantly impressed with what I saw. Bicycles and small boats were just laying around everywhere as if nobody had a worry in the world.
Then a bright feeling came down over me. It came starting at my head and passed downward through me and around me and in it's wake a beautiful tingling feeling of peace came over me. Driving down that boulevard is nothing but Enchanting. I was having a conversation with myself on this matter when the bus took it's left to go along Park Drive, as it did in those days. Well some knowing part of me was exclaiming that "I'M gonna live here one day".
Another Nancy from within commented back "OH yeah, well it's kind of like a retirement community or something!".
The original Nancy confirmed that "Oh Yeah, when I'm like fifty-two, no fifty-three".
The bus pulled forward to where it intersects with the first cross lane and the first Nancy carries on, looking up the lane to where a new home is being completed and says "And I'm gonna live right there!".
Somehow this Nancy knew more, she goes on to know that she will be with a man she'd been with for a very longtime but we still had not worked out our heebee geebee's. For a moment she saw her sons and the feeling of their pain in life, difficulties maybe. Then turning back to the man.
Somehow more was being presented, and I was knowing that this man had a problem of his own and would not be the best husband. Oh BUT, the child of me exclaimed to a seeming God that "Oh but me, with this great love? Oh I can fix that man!".
The seeming God was nothing but silent.
The bus passed the big tree in the middle of the road. I anchored myself to it and vowed to return to it one day.
When my husband and I drove into Cultus Lake, looking to buy when I was fifty two, I suggested the left turn that led right to the house that had a sign on it. I joined my husband there one year later after my youngest son graduated.
Things went on for another eleven years before crashing truths were shown.
Nothing had been worked out regardless of the thirty three years together, although he allowed me to try.
It's had me wondering for many years, that if I saw my life at nine, that came to being at fifty-two, then I changed nothing, and so what's the point?
Is it all written? Well if it is what's my purpose? Am I just to learn to be happy no matter what?
I have hugged that tree a million times. It's still there. Go hug it and feel the river of pulp go through you. Climb to the top in your mind's eye and view.

PEBBLES
I had a husband before this man and we had a son but were split up. His mother wanted to stay doing daycare while I worked. My then husband was back at home with his mom and I was picking up my son after my shift when this man wanted to be confrontational. I turned towards the gate, thinking I would get the boy myself, when he hauled off and punched me in the jaw. What I thought happened next was, just as I'm about to hit the ditch five or so people were there grabbing me up again and prompted me into my car. What was unexplainable was all the Peebles falling off my face. Why were they there if I didn't hit the ground?
Then I notice his mother talking, "What's going on out there -----, what's going on out there?"
Then the boy was handed to me and I drove home.
My teeth did not touch together on one side.
I eventually realized that I did lay in the ditch, and that the man's mother was not outside when I went down.
Who were these magical people who lifted and helped me to my car?

LOG JAM TO HEAVEN
The Shuswap River was slow this Labour Day weekend of 1989. My second husband had invited me and my oldest of three sons, to tube in the river with two gentlemen friends. We entered at the Meadows, the local swimming hole.
It was midday and the sun shone.
We were heading approximately seven kilometers down river.
We waved goodbye to neighbours and the wife of one of the men who was going to meet us down river where our home was.
We had long counted tuber's as they floated by and I was excited for the experience.
Things went along smoothly and the nature there is staggering and pristine.
Soon however,it became evident that the men moved faster than me and my son on account of their weight.
Jared and I scrambled to keep up to the dad who was steaming ahead.
On one bend I turned over to crab walk my way back into the middle stream and do some catching up.
I saw my husband, way up ahead, push off against some logs with his feet and continue ahead.
The third gent, Wayne, was bringing up the rear as myself, with son Jared behind, headed towards the pile of logs jammed in a heap.
The moment was quiet, we drifted into deeper waters.

Here we go.
As I neared the logs piled along the far side of the river my tube flipped out from under me.
I reached up to grab it and I realized my tube was leaving going up "and" I was leaving going down.
My legs were being sucked down.
They were hanging down because I had turned onto my tummy.
A thought came to me "I must be able to come up on the other side".
Down I went into a bowl, and then BAMM, BAMM, BAMM, three blows to the head.
I knew I was out.
Still, I could feel my body scraping and grinding around large slimy black logs. I was very much around my body and seeing and feeling "with" myself, as I flushed along. An under the water level river ran through the logs that were strewn a great length. I could see, even though I was out of consciousness.
A part of me was still aware and my body was getting beat up.
Eventually I became lodged.
I knew I was hurt and stuck. I had had no air for some great time, yet when my fear reached out it was met with peace and safety.
"Nobody" seemed to be worried.
I resolved to not worry either.!
Who were the "nobodies" that were not concerned?
Somehow I knew I wasn't alone.

Then before me I notice I'm looking at a man.
He seemed from a medieval past and stood on rolling hills facing north. He wore a dress cover with leather shields over like an armor. In his hand was a long stick and he peered ahead, into his future. I saw that I could see behind him also, into his past. Seemed he was in a tube of hexagon shape.
As I came closer to his face I was shocked to feel that this man had my frigging heart!
What the "!".
I felt ripped off or something.
Where did he get off having "MY" heart ? "?". Oh my God, he has my heart and he is me. I felt like crying for it was so touching to feel my heart so delicately in another being. That other being was a man.
" Was this love I felt in my heart for him?"
But then, I'm being bumped into another tube seemingly running along side of the other tube and it too had a person living in it. I visited this person and found the same "my" heart there too. Seeing the opportunity, I started racing from tube to tube, realizing it was as easy as changing lanes in your car.
Then another tube, and another tube and so on until I felt I had seen " forty movies" of all my lives and all were various versions of persons, all having my heart.
I could tell the tubes were clustered together endlessly and I had resolved to take "this" many stories back with me, to where who knows, but as I felt myself returning in a falling manner I grasped to hang on to them as they vanished in my arms, all but a few glimpses and the first main gentleman was all I had.
There was little time to think about it for now I saw myself to be a young child standing atop of a mile high pile of logs, like a giant pile of "pick up sticks".
Before me I was looking into a jelly membrane that seemed four or five inches thick and was made of crushed-up clear jelly with rainbow reflections. It seemed to stretch endlessly in all directions for you could see the ripples away off, like saran wrap would ripple and glisten.
I felt that I could easily put my hand through it, but I was scared I might slip to the other side.
The lands beyond the jelly membrane was strikingly beautiful and luring. Colors beyond anything I had ever seen in blues and purples, streams and mountains and gleaming light ahead. Nothing but beauty.

As I'm consumed with the scenery beyond I had been unaware of a searing bright light just sitting off to my right.
I was wondering about the intensity of this powerful light that did not hurt me, when the LIGHT spoke!
And the LIGHT said "" SO YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA DIE .""

"WHAT!"

I couldn't believe my ears. How did "HE?" know?
WHO was this light and just how did he know that I had been dreaming of being at my own funeral after-party.
At the same time I could feel the enormous " tolerance" this GODLIGHT was using to deal with me, so simple of a peon.
I wish I could share the feeling of total acceptance regardless of my decisions.

I had been "awoken" to memories of watching everyone in my home after the funeral. I was watching from above the ceiling.
I could tell you what my sister wore and whom she spoke to.
These dreams continued and I became worried for my family
I purchased a small amount of life insurance, for I had none.

After that I resolved to carry on with my life and accepted my husbands offer to go tubing that day. I was having a heavy heart but that was normal married life for me.
So now "The Light" " knew", and he obviously knew of my dreams and what all. I feel he sees all my lives simultaneously and whom I'm to become beyond. The realizing of that made me feel very simple.
So "WHAT?" The light knew "everything!, saw everything?"
The Light was asking "me" to decide if I was going to the other side.

""WELL, HERE YOU GO""" the LIGHT said,""If you want to go to the other side, just drink this glass of water"".
A glass of water appeared before me.
I felt the lack of judgment over my decision.

"Well" I whined " How can "I" make so big of a decision ?"

I reached toward the Light for guidance or any clue but the Light was suddenly gone, leaving no trace.
With a cry I fell back into myself, into my body.
Then a memory came to me.
Although I could not specifically remember a movie from the "forty movies", I instantly remembered that if I " left now", if I went to the "other side" now in this life, well then my husband and my youngest son, they two would have to begin again with the lessons that were laid out for them in the blueprint of their "these" lives. I got it instantly that I was playing a pivotal role in their lives, and I also knew, there was "no time" for them to have a rerun.

I wanted to say to the Light, "Oh, I don't want to do that to them",
BUT,
The LIGHT needed not my "words", for he flashed me back into my body down inside the log jam.

I was however, still the child. I was a child and I was now standing in the bosom of a great lizard or something. I looked from within to each side, down each arm and then up into the head. It was spectacular huge and I was childish and small.
The powerful legs and arms of the creature climbed me out from amongst the logs. I could feel my skin alive and scraping free.
As I became free, the lizard creature became me and I was swimming up towards the sun, THE LIGHT shining bright above me in the sky.


Reaching the surface I saw only wilderness around and for a while I was gasping for air until way in the distance I heard voices talking. I swung around to see quite a ways back up stream, the four men were standing on top of the log jam.
I made out some words and Dave was saying "Well, I think Jared is going to be okay, but Nancy has been gone for a long time".
There was some coughing from Jared as Dave and Wayne stood with him.
I wanted to speak. I tried to call out. Nothing. Couldn't talk. So I used my mind power and called to my husband who was standing aback.
Then he saw me and reached down and picked up a tube, flung it down river toward me. Anger growled out towards him, out of me that I didn't understand.
"Get your --- down here", I screamed with my mind,
"don't you know I just saved my life for you?!"
Grabbing and climbing onto a tube!? Didn't think I could.
I slipped back under water and drifted with the stream to reconnect to my inner self.

The next bit has left me. I'm not sure of the process of how we all ended up resting on the far side of the river, sitting on a bank of hot round stones.
I was learning of how my son had also been turned over off his tube and was pinned against logs further to the middle of the river.
He tells of thinking," So, this is what it's like to die", when he saw a hand pass across his face. The hand was Wayne. He had scrambled to our aid and was reaching anywhere he could down between the logs.
Thinking to himself he determined that he had to keep" trying" until he felt a slip of fabric seam. Gathering and clenching and twisting the neck of a t-shirt he pulled up Jared, thinking he was pulling up me.

When Jared stopped sputtering and coughing , he tells of how he said "Thanks Wayne".

After half hour or so it was decided to carry on down river because we did not know how far along we were and how far we would have to walk for help. As we set off again I struggled with words and how to say thank you to Wayne for saving my son.
In the end I just said to Wayne, who was drifting near," Thank you Wayne, for saving my son". It was most difficult to get my mouth to work. Then the "words" were so "puny".
Even if I thanked him a hundred times, and even today, the words would still be so puny.
What I came away with from this experience is the knowing that I'm not just here for myself, but that I am also playing a huge role in the lives of other people and just maybe that is really why I am here.
I then saw the need to be a better mother and wife and friend, because it's not about "ME". It was very liberating.
I had always been afraid of lizards.
I never told this story for years and even when it started leaking out I referred to a salamander. Yesterday I turned 68 and am happy to say I have grown to love my lizard life.


PIANO
So that all happened when I was thirty-six.
Now I'm forty-three and driving the handicap bus in Vernon B.C..
This was my favorite job ever, doing good deeds for a living. Vernon was a nice town and I hoped to work out my years there.

I had a lovely lady on board, Jean F., waiting to go to the mall, as I dropped off two challenged gentlemen at the Team Teaching Center for their speech therapy.
Another challenged lady often waited for me outside, to say "Hi".

As I opened the single still door system to let in the gents, well in the doorway stood "Mara". I had driven her in that morning.
Mara was difficult but we were friends. Bigger than myself, she was still a child of three and she had just received a "med" change that I was unaware of. Normally she would have hopped on both legs at the same time and she can pinch and bite.
I approached her in the doorway, not wanting her to escape into the road.
"Hi Mara", I gave her one of the gentle embraces that she allows.
Slowly I gave her the physical prompt to move her back, and she went straight back over herself and the two of us where floating.
The movement brought my face to her chest and I felt her to be completely passive and not misbehaving.
I wasn't sure what was happening.
I could see things passing my face. I didn't understand, then whack! I had hit holding Mara and had her in my embrace.
I hit the top back of the sofa frame that was wood. Mara's head missed altogether, my head taking the weight of two. We fell in a heap. I knew I was knocked out but still could feel that Mara scrambled to her feet.

So where am I?
I'm sitting atop of the piano just off to the side.
I am watching as many workers gathered around.
I am seeing myself down there laying on the floor.
I am "face" to the floor, but my green and blue sunsuit was brightly colored now and the beautiful curls of my brown hair were falling over my shoulders so prettily.
I am taken back with a love feeling for myself I had not known of.
I thought to myself with astonishment "HOW, did I get to be forty-three, and never notice how beautiful I was?"
Now remember I'm face down, so it wasn't a beauty thing, but how, just how did I miss this in all my life long.
This must be how ALL the GODHOOD sees us.
Beautiful and glowing.
So, I'm saying to myself again "Well, get down there and help her!".
I tried pushing toward me down there and had to give up a minute because it was so hard to do. "Well, try again!"
So I did then push through the pain and then I was back into my body and oh yes much pain. I had hit on my beat up forehead. I have to apologize to my body and head sometimes for abusing it so. And forgive me GOD.

After being off work seven months I was forced to return, even though the driver did not pass inspection. It was dangerous and not wanting to loose my job or have that anyone was hurt because of my not being well enough to be on the road, I developed the art of "constant prayer".
Fortunately for me and the people of Vernon, it worked. I had to retire myself because of deteriorating condition. Much later, after my surgery the government gave me disability. I am much better now.

Sails
I took a course on healing from a man from Australia named Alton.
There were three hundred people at the Sails in Vancouver, B.C..
Alton's lessons centered around " The Emerald Tablets of Thoth the Atlantean", translated by Doreal. Only the last afternoon did he walk us through healing other people and that has been enormous benefit to myself and those who accept this invisible work.

Now I'm including this meditation because of the differing opinions on the drug related thing.
At the time still before surgery I was taking some pharmaceuticals. I'm treating this the same because I agree they are similar.
This gentleman Alton led us through a meditation to take us to The Halls of Amenti. The Halls of Amenti are the solar plexus of the earth.

My journey was arduous and I got into numerous physical scraps with others along the steep mountain climb. When I reached the top I was on hands and knees, exhausted and bleeding.
Before me towered several huge dark stone figures of powerful beings. The one to the center was taller and they petered down on either side.
The one in the middle spoke in a powerful strong voice saying,
"WHAT'S WITH YOU?".
Huh?
What?
I wanted to stand up for myself and "blame" those who fought me on my journey, but surprisingly to me, I did not.
Instead I replied to this powerful entity , "Oh Well, I just seem to keep falling down."
"Well, FALL NO MORE!" came sounding with great force.
I'm pounding my keys here. Say no more.
To all us fallen angels FALL NO MORE !


Thank you for listening.
Much of this is astounding but I speak only my truth and hope some of it helps.
Peace and Preparation



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