NDE or just a dream?
I have been avidly reading NDE for the last weeks and wanted to share my experience. Since it is not a true NDE I can only post it here.
I went to bed as usual and fell asleep. In my dream I woke up to “reality”. I knew I woke up from the illusion of life and I knew that my body, my personality, the one I called Eveleen (not my real name here ) was lying in bed sleeping. I also knew that I was not dreaming. I had no attachment to my life on Earth and did not care about it at all. This detachment felt completely normal since it was just an illusion, like a movie or a game.
I felt like I was connected to an experiment of some sort, like a virtual game and that was of course, life on Earth. I also perceived that there were others beside me who were sleeping, connected to Earth.
The space in which I woke up felt dark and fuzzy. I realized I was not human, but I still had some sort of shape, humanoid-like and small, like a child; I also perceived my environment differently, as though my senses different. I was slowly regaining my memories, my full consciousness; it felt like information was being downloaded. I was beginning to grasp mind-blowing secrets of the Universe, infinite knowledge; things were starting to make sense. Of course, I now remember nothing of it, I just carried with me the feeling of amazing knowledge and understanding. But the download of information was not complete, I was getting the impression that I was beginning to know too much and that was not allowed. I felt the presence of beings closing in to put an end to my awakening.
I was in that dark room, still close to the place where I woke up. It felt like a building, housing many sleeping spirits. I then saw a brilliant light strip, like a crack in the door and I knew that if I managed to cross that threshold I would be free and the beings will have no power over me. I knew that by doing that I would die on Earth and I felt absolutely nothing. I was sleeping with my husband and had no second thoughts about dying and leaving him and my family. How could I, when everything was just an illusion, a virtual game. (This complete detachment amazes me to this day, since I care so much about my family.)
The beings approached and the fight began. I was NOT going back to the illusion, they will not connect me the “experiment” again. I did not want them to extinguish the flicker of my consciousness and I perceived them as being somehow negative. I still wonder to this day if they were good or bad. Are the prison guards good or bad? Depends on which side of the bars you are! I felt a sense of urgency about them in needing to connect me back to Earth and a disproval at my awakening. I was struggling with them to keep my consciousness awake. I still remember the fury of my struggle and the intensity of my desire to remain there. But, as you probably have guessed, they overcame me and I felt them putting something over the area of my face, stifling my consciousness.
Now the strangest thing is the moment I lost consciousness there, I instantly woke up in my bed, darting up, nearly screaming, breathing heavily and shaking. I was shocked and I instantly remembered what happened, as if there wasn’t any interruption of consciousness. When you go to sleep and wake up in the morning, you feel your consciousness waking up and you know that an interval of time had passed in which you were not conscious. To me it did not feel like that. It felt incredibly real. I had lucid dreams before and I am familiar with the texture of dreams. Sometimes I would wake up in a dream and say: great I’m dreaming, let’s have some fun! But this was different, it did not feel like a dream, on the contrary, an awakening from the dream of life…
I would like to add something more to this story. When I was in high school and had no idea what I was doing, I started meditating. I was doing some mantras or following my breath, don’t remember well which one. In any case, after some nights meditating I started to feel my body expanding. I was literally the room in which I was meditating, then the house, then I was going up and up and at some point I became the planet, then I was surpassing the solar system. I did not feel my body anymore, I was becoming all that enormous space. I expanded and expanded and at some point I became the whole Universe. I knew I was the whole Universe. I was everything and nothing at the same time. I was the Universe but also a minuscule point at the center of my being. This state felt great but sincerely I did not understand it. There was just me, no one else… and I was asking myself where God is. I was ecstatic but also distraught because I could not find God… Having read so many NDE I now understand where or who God was…
In any case, now to tie it with my “dream”. The space in which I expanded was pitch black. At some point during my expansion I saw a horizon, a line separating the dark Universe from a bright white world. I knew that I reached the end of the Universe (though the Universe felt infinite, I also sensed this was like a border between the physical Universe and the other world or another Universe). I was in the dark space, contemplating the bright horizon, the white world and I was afraid to step in. For the first time fear gripped me and I had the feeling that if I stepped there, I could not find the way back to my body. And this ties with the white strip I saw and the feeling of it being a border and if you pass it there is no way back.
Thank you for reading my experience. I am happy to share it.