Have you ever wondered about all the people who did NOT give their opinions?

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gravitonring
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Have you ever wondered about all the people who did NOT give their opinions?

Post by gravitonring » Mon Apr 29, 2019 8:11 am

Have you ever wondered about all the people who did NOT give their opinions?

by Anthony Chipoletti

My cousin Pete Dee was a professional trombone player;

His hobby was working for a living.

He could sell advertising specialties to an advertising specialty company.

Pete always said: "There are givers, and there are takers."

Pete usually added that his Mother Beatrice was a giver.

I, however, am a taker.

I took a very well-respected public opinion poll door to door for several years. (The company name rhymes with what fast horses do when crossing the finish line.)

My father has been betting horses for over sixty years.

He boiled his betting system down to: "I'm gonna bet that grey horse to win."

This article was inspired by my father's will.

No, he didn't die, however he did wreck his car.

The humor in this is that my father put in his will that he would leave me his car.

This week my inheritance crossed the finish line, totally.

Coincidently, my career also crossed the finish this week.

Here are some of the reasons why:

Actual responses from people who did NOT answer a door to door public opinion poll.

Number ten:

"I'm really not interested."

Number nine:

"What's a public opinion poll?"

Number eight:

"Any time is good, but not now, can you come back next Tuesday?"

Number seven:

"Is that a bomb in your briefcase?"

Number six:

"Sorry but I have to attend my... [ NA, AA, CA or other Anonymous Group ]

Number five:

"No speekee English." also: "No speekaa English."

Number four:

[ Non-verbal: potential respondent tosses cookies [throws up] on the welcome mat.]

Number three:

Posted: NO TRESPASSING; NO SOLICITING; BEWARE OF THE DOG.

Number two:

"I don't like your looks, and you just set off my immediate response home protection alarm system."

[ A small unmarked white van with mirror windows begins to follow me down the street, and everyone's phone starts ringing in a non-stop RING RING RING RING RING.]

Number one:

[ The MOST important reason why people can
NOT answer a door to door public opinion poll.]

"Sure, I'll do it, come on in!"

[ Potential poll taker (that's me) dies of:

"Complexification: The Science of Surprise"
or is that Surprize?


Anyway that really is a new book,
which I am sure you can find at
the place that rhymes with the big
river in South America?

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