My friend has Cancer

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Garry
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My friend has Cancer

Post by Garry » Tue Feb 11, 2014 11:24 pm

My friend has Cancer

He is already into the 7th chemo treatment. 1 more than what is normal . 1 more to go and he is at the maximum 8 that he can have .

He has just got out of the hospital today from a case of pneumonia. He has no white blood cells left. the chemo has killed them all .
He is still optimistic that he will beat this but deep down inside me I don't think he will . I haven't thought that since he told me 3 months ago.

I had the feeling right from day one that he wouldn't beat it . I don't know why !!!


I have chatted with him before about this website but he never checked it out , that I know of..


How do you approach the subject with someone when living, is his only wish and desire , and when living scares me more than dying does!!!!

I haven't been able to go see him due to distance and his poor health has kept him sleeping most of the 3 months .....

I don't know why I feel this way but my gut feeling is that he wont make it till the middle of March .....

Garry
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tony123
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Re: My friend has Cancer

Post by tony123 » Wed Feb 12, 2014 9:20 am

Lately been thinkinng of my older sister. She got healed from lung cancer against the odds. Not so long ago i had commented to my daughter graduating this year in Medicine how pessimist i was about her recovery. Most unexpectedly my sister showed up in our place (i live with my mother) all in the fllutter holding a pack of papers shouting that exams hadn't detected a trace of cancer in all her body.

i am astonished at her miraculous healing and whenever i answer someone from school who wants to hear from my older sister i hardly believe i am saying that she got healed from cancer. Unlike me this sister enjoys living life to its fullest i ve never seen someone more optmistic more enthusiastic more funny cause it s amazing how she can turn glitter into gold. As she started losing her hair she made up jokes about that.

Her colleagues couldn'd help but laughing despite knowing her weak health condition. I put it down to her strong wish to go on living in this 3d world, by the way the only one she considers relevant. And my daughter's words still echo in my mind= 'Complicated the condition of aunt, dad, extremely complicated.'

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When someone is terminal

Post by LifeReview » Fri Feb 21, 2014 4:20 pm

Hi Garry,
As we talked on the phone, I think the level of fear this person has will largely determine what conversations you can have. Sometimes truth calms, and sometimes truth creates panic. To know what is best, we must adequately understand a soul first, and for that we have to listen a bit first.

I think in your case, an experienced oncologist could teach us how they handle their cases. Modern doctors who talk about mortality are rare, but there are good ones who see the dignity in reality, not just perpetual medical countermeasures.

I hope that helps.

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Re: My friend has Cancer

Post by CathyK » Fri Feb 21, 2014 6:37 pm

Hi Garry

My father never discussed his feelings. A short time before he died, but was well at that time, he spoke a little of what it might be like to die. He seemed apprehensive but didn't want a conversation about it. I gave him a copy of P M Attwater's writing on "what it's like to die". It's comforting and reassuring and I hoped it would ease his concerns. He never referred to it - never made any comment at all - but it couldn't have hurt him to read it and maybe it helped. He died a while later very unexpectedly and quickly.

Maybe you're right about your friend, Garry, and he won't live much beyond mid-March. A friend of mine has cancer which has spread to her liver and lungs. She said recently that "We can't live forever, can we?" I said, "Life is just wonderful 'upstairs' ". We locked eyes, I knew she understood, and she nodded. I don't believe she wants any more than that at the moment.
Cathy

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Re: My friend has Cancer

Post by hilly » Mon Sep 01, 2014 12:46 am

Gary I hope your friend has made it. Being a cancer survivor plus recently losing my mom to cancer, I never brought up death. When my mom wanted to talk about it I answered her questions as well as I could. My dad 4 years ago was a bit different and I told him what I had experienced, but he was headed out that day, actually about 15 minutes after I left he died. But with mom, I remained positive. God calls the time and I and a couple others I know are proof of that, we weren't suppose to make it either.

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Re: My friend has Cancer

Post by Garry » Mon Sep 01, 2014 6:28 am

So far he is still alive and kicking
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Re: My friend has Cancer

Post by Natalie » Mon Sep 01, 2014 9:02 pm

Hilly,

Your post is so interesting. Did you have an NDE? Are you able to write about it here?

My mother in law is very weak, she is 94, blind and bed ridden, but very aware and cognitive. I know she is scared and feels alone even though she has family members around her frequently. I have not been able to bring up the subject of NDE because she along with my husband's family have always dismissed anything related to God etc. I sure wish I could offer comfort by talking to her about NDEs experiences, but my instincts tell me that it won't be welcomed.

Natalie

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Re: My friend has Cancer

Post by Carlos » Tue Sep 02, 2014 10:47 am

Hi Natalie,

If your mother in law is still aware and cognitive, just try.
You might give some confort to her.
Take care,
Carlos

Natalie wrote:Hilly,

Your post is so interesting. Did you have an NDE? Are you able to write about it here?

My mother in law is very weak, she is 94, blind and bed ridden, but very aware and cognitive. I know she is scared and feels alone even though she has family members around her frequently. I have not been able to bring up the subject of NDE because she along with my husband's family have always dismissed anything related to God etc. I sure wish I could offer comfort by talking to her about NDEs experiences, but my instincts tell me that it won't be welcomed.

Natalie

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