My NDE, crossing over, what I brought back, ties in.

[tundrawolf]

So, I began life as a traumatized boy, I believe the trauma began before I was born- into two adverse bloodlines. (Antithetical to human decency and love, connection, etc.)

I recall, being a child, perhaps five, and looking at a cartoon book of "the jungle book" and seeing the momma wolf, looking lovingly at the human child, and I remember thinking, "I wonder what it is like to be loved? It must feel amazing." And, at the time- and in a cosmic sense, I knew, only a wolf could love me. (Humans were not capable of it at the time.)

Well, one day while I was, perhaps age 12 (I do not recall almost all of my childhood. This could be due to the trauma, or a brain injury, or both.) I came down with "Hives". My mother, being a nurse at the time, took me to the, "Family doctor" to get them treated.

I went in, and received an injection. I often passed out after an injection- and my mother made sure to have me fully vaccinated.

As my mother was paying for the treatment, I began to grow sick- very sick. Like the flu, but much worse.

I knew I was going to die. My gut, started to shut down, and i could feel it. It was horrendous.

All I could do, was to tug on my mothers skirt and say, "I feel sick."

Then, my consciousness was immediately out of my body.

I did not see a light, or tunnel, but I saw colors- colors human eyes could not perceive- not only not see them, but I could feel them, touch them, they were tangible.

And, then, I was in darkness. Sometimes, people gasp when I say this- it was not an adverse place. It was peaceful, restful.

I also noticed- there was no time in this realm. However, I remember being ale to remember my memories as a human.

I adjusted, and grew comfortable- and when I did, I felt my beingness, my essence, my soul- my consciousness, placed in a liquid that saturated every fiber of my existence.

The water, soaked into me, like warm water in dried out bread.

Well, the water, seemed to be alive- it was the origin of the word, "Love". In fact, even trying to describe it with words, is a form of blasphemy, like trying to describe something cosmically beautiful, and describing it with dirt.

Well, there was a creature there- he looked like an uRru, from the movie, "The dark crystal." A hole opened up in the darkness, and I saw them, wheeling my body on a gurney. I felt myself, being pulled back to my body, however I resisted. I remembered, the trauma and abuse I was suffering there, and I begged the creature not to put me back there. He said, "You have to!" (Go back.)

I assumed, the little guy was God, and I hated God for putting me back here for years. In fact only recently did I start to dial back my hatred.

I came back, believing in a certain Abrahamic religion (That did NOTHING to explain the experience whatsoever. I believe the belief was implanted in me, to accomplish a goal later on in life. In fact, I am convinced of it.) and found myself back in my body.

I recall, the doctor and nurses furiously wheeling me down the hall, the sense of fear all around them, and them gasping and saying, "He's awake!" and then they shoved a box of nasty orange juice in my mouth to make me drink. I am unsure if it was my time in a different realm, but I love orange juice, and it did not taste very good.

A number of years later, I had an intense spiritual experience at a wolf sanctuary, and, then in March of 2021 I had the first of three sober, waking, early morning, Out of body experiences, where I met, the woman I had been searching for my whole life- the woman of my dreams. It's been... Tragic... And euphoric. What a journey. And, after the out of body experiences, I was reeling from it, and sought help- and found some esoteric scholars, who began to help me.

Not with the woman, but with myself. Each day seems to bring new revelations, new understandings. But, I registered here, in order to try to find out more about the woman. But, the answers seem to be coming. It is bittersweet with her. Anyway, I will speak more about her in the OBE forums.That is my NDE.

From my perspective, it occurred in order to infuse my body with the source of love- and, later, to willingly, joyfully- give that love to a group, when I was given some options, on what to do about my body.