Do we plan our life before birth?

[SK321]

Hello,

I really wish some NDErs would stop talking about a pre-planned life.

First of all, I assume that for 90% of humanity it does not make any sense whatsoever: wars, terrorism, poverty, abusive environments, mental issues, psychopathic personalities, mental breakdowns, dysfunctional families, suicides.... Who would choose this for himself?

Second, none of us is a remote island cut off from the rest of the world. Our choices and decisions affect others. Choosing suffering for ourselves equals choosing suffering for somebody else (family, friends...).

Third, this aching world has been a bottomless ocean of blood and suffering from time immemorial but some NDErs claim this is perfectly fine because this is our free choice and we pre-plan our lives in order to learn and grow. The Creator gives all of this his stamp of approval and... off we go! Into the earthly vortex of sadistic and mindless madness - straight into the wild river of blood flowing in the valley of tears... And we are supposed to learn and grow! How is a starving child in Africa supposed to learn and/or grow? What is such a child supposed to understand from his plight?
(My good friend, an ex-Christian missionary/priest, had a mental breakdown in Zimbabwe after more than 15 years of serving poor communities. He quit clergy not so long ago mentally and spiritually drained and crushed).

Fourth, one NDEr who claims we plan our lives before incarnating on Earth said: "Things no longer happened to me, they happened for me." Many applauded her. Not me. Oh no. I felt outraged: Yes, right, go tell it to all those starving children in Africa. Or people in Ukraine. Or flood victims in Central and Eastern Europe. It all happened FOR them... This is God's gift so rejoice. Be grateful.

Sadly, I am under the impression that all these NDErs who discuss pre-planned lives display a certain degree of presumptuousness. If they KNOW (and they claim they do) we choose our lives before being born why on Earth discuss this openly and publicly? It raises so many questions, doubts, anger (yes, anger), it is such a controversial topic that thay should be more humble, understanding and considerate to refrain from talking about it. Why? Because as far as I know no religion teaches this surreal concept and NDErs who assert that they KNOW that we do plan our lives are totally unable to explain this concept to the suffering humanity. Leave this knowledge to yourself because it's utterly useless here on the face of this miserable planet. You are only adding insult to injury.

What's your take on this?

[DTR1975]

You raise a lot of good points, many that I have considered myself. I have neither had an NDE nor do I presume to know the answers to the dilemmas you present. Having read many of these NDE accounts, I can only come to the conclusion that each experience is unique and individualized for that particular person.

[SK321]

Having read many of these NDE accounts, I can only come to the conclusion that each experience is unique and individualized for that particular person.

This is my understanding as well. In my opinion NDErs who talk about pre-planned lives overgeneralize. They make their assumptions from the lesson that was tailor-made for them only, not for all.

I believe NDErs do not come back with full knowledge of how things work after death (and before birth). They just don't know this and cannot claim they correctly understand the mechanisms/logic of the afterlife. This is because being on the other side does NOT mean they have seen everything and experienced it in full, in its fullest and deepest form. They have seen only some aspect, some part of the hereafter (threshold). Hence their knowledge is very limited and not suitable for preaching (even if they're absolutely convinced they're right and know. Much, much more humility required here). No great master of spirituality preached, explained how it all works - such a technical vantage point (an instruction manual of the afterlife, so to speak) wasn't necessary.

[DTR1975]

What irks me are the NDErs that come back and say that the purpose of life is to have fun and enjoy it like it's some kind of lifespan long fraternity party. Five minutes of objective thought will tell you that can't possibly be the case, at least not for everyone. Certainly not for me or the people I know.

[SK321]

Exactly, it used to be very problematic for me, too. I did struggle with this kind of message for a long time.

But one of my favourite NDErs explained this in a very simple way and now it seems to me that pursuing joy (sometimes joy is called happiness, but these two are not exactly the same ideas) isn't egoistic or too simplistic as it may appear. In fact joy has its moral depth and a profound meaning, both for the NDEr and a larger community.
I know at least 3 NDErs who present the concept of personal joy/happiness that way and especially one of them does it in a very humble, considerate and finely balanced way.