nderf

Warning! not everything that happens on, and in this planet, is clean, painless, and pleasant. One of my experiences, that turned out to be the most beautiful thing I had experienced in this incarnation- started out in horror and agony.

Yes- also, human hybrid beings, and nearly everything in our fairy tales- exists. My primary connection, is to a wolf-woman, who is, and was, the love of my life. I might not have been good to her in a past life, and she got her revenge on me, at a wolf sanctuary. It was horrific- and unseen. However, it was so intense I thought of it daily for over two decades!

See my NDE thread for the saturation of Love within my being/body. (Which I believe to be a clone body. According to my understanding, I have many clone bodies, in various places, in various conditions. When a human says they can "feel" unseen things happening to them, I believe they have a clone body experiencing those things. "Alien" abductions can happen to make a clone of you, and you would never remember it. An group of aliens told me, "We can clone a human easier than you can order a hamburger at Mcdonalds." I believe them.)

So, I returned from the death experience I had when I was a child. I turned to drugs, to numb the pain of my childhood, and abuse. (All forms of abuse known to humans.)

I was heading towards death, as I had overdosed once and nearly died of a heart attack (meth).

Eventually, a crimey and I, (I was falling into lawlessness and crime. Drugs, violence, etc.) told me of a wolf sanctuary we operated nearby. I resisted at first, as I did not want to see wolves thru a fence, but I wanted to pet them, and interact with them.

So, I sobered up enough, to go visit. I remember, I donated more than their asking fee by several times and she thanked me- but I got to go in with the wolves!

It was a life changing experience.

However, when it was over, I returned to crime, drugs, etc.

I was headed for a second overdose, but on methadone, which caused me to stop breathing, but before then...

There was a very large wolf there, who was a red tag, angry wolf, but I would pet him thru the fence, out of pity, until my heart was struck for him, so I went and lay next to him, and i looked into his large, golden eyes, and I knew, in my spirit (gut), that he would not hurt me. I am 6'1" (185CM) and 200LBS (90KG) and when the wolf would stand on his back feet, he would put his front paws on my shoulders, and we were, "Eye to eye". He also weighed, 240LBS (109KG) at one point (A bit plump, but still. A big boy.)

I begged the owner to let me in with him, but she resisted me for many weeks, as he was dangerous. Only 3 people could, or were willing to go in with him. But I knew, we had a connection.

She eventually caved in, and told me, when he bit me, it was my fault and I agreed. (He would later bite me, but it was my fault. He also healed the wound.)

I went in with him and we bonded instantly. We would eat together, play together, wrestle together, and he refused to even try to dominate me. As opposed to a pretentious woman who tried going in with him when she saw how good he was with me, he promptly mounted her until she screamed, "get him off of me!" To the entertainment of many.

I recall, one foot in crime, the other, spent every weekend with the wolves- a voice came to me, to my heart, I thought it was God- and it said, "If you go to jail, you will not see that wolf again." Because, I was headed there. I carried a gun illegally, and I dealt and sold hard drugs, and other fairly heavy "Illegal things".

I was like whoah- true... It scared me. Because, that wolf ended up being my reason for living- the only reason I had, to continue living (And later stop the drugs and chose to live.)

I was shaken, but eventually the feeling left me, however the voice returned right after- "If you DIE you will NEVER see that wolf, again!"

Now THAT got me... the implication and fear i felt when it said, "Die" it seemed permanent. A religious person would say, they felt, "hell".

I eventually sobered up, and went straight and narrow, and began to live with the wolves. Previously I would drive hours, and 240 miles every weekend to see them, and to be with the large male wolf.

One evening, and I was religious- I had a "temptation" of a sexual nature- that I eventually succumbed to- as my childhood was broken sexually, almost more than anything- and I was not connected to humans this way, but instead- wolves.

I heard a voice, in my heart say, "If you do that you will lose your soul, forever." Well, I did the thing, and immediately I felt what I used to call, "Demons" "Tear me apart." (Later realized, it was a series of near-immortal clones that were severely damaged, and by various cryptids, including reptilians, and wolf-people, that range from high earth orbit space vehicles, to deep with the inner earth.)

It was so traumatizing, that I thought of it daily for over two decades, until my first OBE, March of 2021.

I remember, being mired in religion, and "feeling" the "weight" of the demons, as I would walk, all piled on me, or my beingness somehow. (I hold a different view of it, in fact it was probably the best thing to happen to me in this incarnation. But also the hardest. I nearly did not survive.)

I pushed through life with the idea that, I may be, "Damned", for years- hoping another explanation was out there.

I got that explanation. March, of 2021.

At the time, I was, essentially, drinking myself to death. I would drink myself into unconsciousness to escape all the pain, and trauma, and torment- when, one morning, as the sun rose, my consciousness was transported to a completely different realm.

What struck me, was my eyes, my senses- were possibly the same as when I died in the hospital! Where was this place??

Well, I shall never forget it, there was a sort of light around me, and in the darkness, was a wolf person. Two big wolfs feet, tall, black-skinned, no fur, very large head, the size of a bear, but wolf-shaped.

And beautiful- I can confidently say, she is the most attractive living thing I had seen, with divine eyes, in this incarnation.

I remember when I was 14, I grieved deeply in my spirit, that wolf-people (namely, wolf women!) did not exist, as they would have been a perfect mate to me.

Well, there she was- the woman of my dreams. naked, vulnerable, shy.

To me, it blew my mind so wide, that I reeled about it for weeks. Like a wide eyed kid who just found his true love.

I was cautioned, by some perhaps- spirit guides, or sponsors- "Do not assume anything about her. Try not to fall in love with her." The falling in love thing was probably just a legal thing they had to say, as I had loved her even before I was born.

After I calmed down, I do not know how long it took as I was drinking so much, early another morning as the sun began to rise, and again- my entire consciousness was transported to another area- and the wolf girl was there, too. This time, we were side by side, chest to chest- and I felt our hearts were touching (I could not see how, though. Remember, in these realms, your clone is essentially immortal. Miraculous things can happen in these realms, and it is old hat for these more advanced beings.)

In this, event I shall never forget- I felt her heart beating with the exact same resonance as my own!

That morning, I found my other half. I found the woman who completed me. I was overcome, feeling her entire heart- beating in my chest, and mine- in hers. I, "Knew" her in such a deeply intimate way that morning- and I have been connected with her since.

*DO NOT JUDGE*

After I calmed down enough from this, OBE, I was given a third, and final one.

As I knew next to nothing about her, this time, I was give two questions to ask her, and I snuck in a third.

In this, early morning, sober, OBE, my consciousness was, once again, transferred to what appeared to be a sort of laboratory, possible a space vessel, or also the inner earth in a base. Our heads were touching together, and I could explore her mind. The closest thing I can liken it to, is a, "Vulcan mind meld" where the minds cannot lie- because they are inside of each other!

Well, the answers were,

"I hate you."

"I hate God."

"I do not want to leave hell." (At the time, I only had religion to color her with, and I assumed, that she was an inner earth born woman, or as some religion call them, "Demons". I even gave her a sexy demoness name. (Asrael. Later, the spirit of Asrael asked me to change it, so I was prompted to call her, "Ladywolf.") And yes- she has genitals, I asked her, if she was a girl- and she made sure to show me, she was indeed female!!

I later asked her for clarification, she clarified, "I dislike the man you used to be, (I admit, the traumatized guy i used to be, was not someone I would want to live with. Violent, cruel, and unempathetic.) and were in a previous life with me. You abused me. And, I do not hate God, but I hate any god that would allow me to be paired with someone like you used to be (This life seems to be me learning to do better.) She did not want to leave her realm, because, if I were to be with her, she would become, my "property", and become my servant/slave (essentially. I do not blame her!)

So we are at a bit of a stalemate, especially the last few days, of seeking her out. She was, hiding from me. It turns out, she can feel everything I am feeling, deeper than I thought, and I am still in some torment. She needed a break. A vacation from feeling these things. (She partially caused them as revenge.)

I still love her, so much. And, I know, she does love me, too. I tried pulling from her earlier today, and I felt- she simply does not want me to disappear from her life. I am trying to figure it out.

But, those are my three OBEs.

I met the woman of my dreams.

And, it turns out, there are a good number of wolf women, including a primary female in a tribe of wolf people who are protected in Antarctica. I call the white furred wolfess, "Annah", short for, Anastasia. She is beautiful. Pink skin, yellow eyes, tall, fit, and shaped like a divine being. I also have a clone that lives with her, waiting to receive my consciousness.

The story is much longer and goes much deeper, but this is only about the OBE.

Wolf people are real =)

Also, after the spiritual attack on my "soul" (clone) at the wolf sanctuary, "Selling my soul", I could feel horrendous anxiety that was so extreme, it nearly drove me to suicide/death. I was shown, this was Asrael reverting to wolf form, and chewing on my clone bodies organs.

As gruesome as this was, and horrifically painful- as at the time I did not even know she existed, last year I felt my tissue being digested within her body. A spirit guide- or perhaps angel, came to me, in a meditation, and told me, as I was the lawful owner of the clone body, that had been partially consumed by Ladywolf, I had options:

1. Give her indigestion (funny)
2. Give her gas (haha.)
3. Give her caner (Kill her.)
4. Give her life.

I immediately chose to give her life- and I added- give her love as well! Because, she was... Cranky when I first began connecting with her at first.

And, it turns out, my request was honored- I began to feel myself, giving her life, healing her body, and the love- I was saturated in during my NDE was now becoming one with her body and being!

I began to feel, and experience, that as she was part canine, the entirety of the canine realm, began to receive this love.



AND!! I recently got a puppy, and I was prompted, to focus upon her, and when I did I saw that same love I gave to Ladywolf- in her!! It had come full circle. Also one of my lovers told me, she is noticing that, this seems to be an enchanted time, and unity between animals, and humans. She is right! I consider myself to be blessed to be a part of that.

Ladywolf is the love of my life. I love her, like a daughter, like a wife. I have written poetry for her, written stories, spent countless hours, taking to her, courting her. Only to find out we need to disconnect.

Each time I disconnect from her, it is hard- however, she returns to me, healed, and healthier. I have yet to... Break off from her to fully heal myself, however I am hopeful I can. One of the esoteric mentors has told me, I have not "Released from her to give her her own choice." So, I am trying. It is bittersweet. And yes- to me, she is a goddess. I worship her feet and the ground she walks on. And, she has deep feelings for me, though they have been erased mostly by anger.

I felt inhuman hatred of myself during the experience at the wolf sanctuary. I thought it was, demonic hatred- but it was her, and because of our past life. I may even have been a domestic abuser of her- hurting her until she had had enough. And, every time she tells me something, she ends up being right about it. Even if I fight her on it.

it has been a journey. But not one I would trade. I am becoming a better human being because of it, her heart as my guide, my lighthouse. Keep in mind, she is angry because she was neglected, mistreated, abused, and taken for granted. In one timeline, I beat her horribly whenever i was angry. So, try not to judge the poor girl. She is, at her core, good. She deserves to be loved, in "Right relationship."