Thomas B. My NDE

[troutninja45]

I was riding my bicycle on Eldridge st. in Fort Worth Texas in my grandparents neighborhood in April 1989. A neighbor child one year older and I had built a ramp to jump our bikes toward the direction of the street. As I was coming down the sidewalk to jump the ramp, the neighbor child was waving his arms frantically in the air, but I could not hear him due to the wind and speed.

I assumed the 2x4's holding the ramp up had fallen again. However, he was warning me of a car coming quickly down the road. My view was blocked by the other cars parked along the road in the neighborhood. I had built up a lot of speed at this point and instead of stopping I whipped out into the road and was met by a large 1980s sedan that hit me on the right side.

I blacked out for a while, but was told that I was thrown approximately 10-yards and landed against another parked vehicle in a driveway across the street (a 1970s VW beetle). When I came to my senses, I was floating approximately 30 feet above my body looking down. I could see the ambulance had arrived, and I could see an EMT performing CPR on me while my mother and some others were gathered around watching nearby in my grandparents yard. I remember my mother was frantic.

I felt no emotions and was very calm observing this. I felt raindrops begin to fall on my face, but I was watching myself at the same time from the air. This is hard to explain. Suddenly, but slowly, I began to spin in the air in a counterclockwise manner as I floated upward. I could see the top of the neighbor's magnolia tree that was in bloom and the tops of the other old live oaks in the area.

Then, in a flash, I was somewhere else. In this new place I was watching myself again in what can best be described as a 3d movie of my short 9-year old life. Mostly the highlights, sometimes I was me, sometimes I was watching from above, and sometimes I was observing from the perspective of other people involved, but at the end there was an event where I did something bad out of anger. In this instance, I was inside my body and I rejected the behavior and resisted doing it. In my mind I yelled NOOO!!!

At this time a yellowish light shot out of my chest. Many things happened all at once. The best way I can describe what happened next is that it was like I ripped apart the 3d movie of my life and realized that the yellow light coming out of my chest hit this being made of light and color and threw the being through space into the air and through a crowd of other beings that were watching/participating in my life review.

I then realized I was somewhere else surrounded by these beings of light in a very bright place, but the light did not hurt my eyes. They were beautiful, had many colors swirling in their core cavity area, and a bluish light in their head area, but were partially see-through like plasma? I was surrounded by hundreds of them. In unison they all spoke to me saying the same thing over and over, "You are loved, you are welcome here."

They spoke not with words, but with thought and emotion. It was immediate understanding with knowledge when they communicated. I was partially held in place, but could move my eyes and look down. When I did, I realized I had the colors in my core area of my body just like they did. I became scared because I could not see my legs and was confused.

They said in unison again multiple times "You are loved, you are welcome here," until I calmed down. Additionally, when they communicated with me, their lights would connect with me, and mine would connect with theirs when I thought of something. Two of the beings stepped out in front of the others saying "you are loved, you are welcomed here" and then one of the two said "welcome back" and then the other being "shushed" the one that said "welcome back."

This was confusing and is still confusing to this day. I realized while observing their interaction that I felt like I knew them all, but I could not figure out how. Later in life after doing my own research, I guessed it could have been deceased loved ones, but I did not know anyone who had died in my life so maybe that is why I saw them in their spirit, but I don't know if this is accurate or not? After this confusing interaction, I was shown some things by them that I cannot remember now and was told some things I would rather keep to myself.

I don't know how long I was hanging there in suspension while these interactions took place, but it seemed like at least 30-minutes, but I cannot say for sure because time was strange. At the end of this interaction, all of a sudden the beings became very excited and I felt the excitement and happiness of everyone.

We were connected at this point, all of us I realized hundreds or more were present at this time. Strangely, I forgot what I was doing there suspended in this "area" and started to feel the excitement as well. All at once I could move my head left to right, but I could not look behind me. (I was never allowed to look behind me, even when I was pulled into the space everyone else was in. I just could not turn around.) When I turned my head toward the source of the excitement, I saw a great being at least twice the size of the others and this being was best described as a great white flame with a face and what appeared to be a human-like body of flame.

This next part is hard to describe. I was looking at the being far away approaching, but briefly, I was face to face with this being then back in the place I was held. Then I felt and heard a great voice inside me say "COME" and I was shot through the "veil" I was being held in and into the place with the others. I shot through space and landed at the "Great" beings’ feet. This larger and (from the feeling) much more powerful being said to me one time "You are loved, you are accepted." I was so amazed and distracted by this being that I forgot what was going on and just observed the flame for a while. It moved slowly like a flame made of water and had shimmers of all colors across the flame.

When I tried to see through the flame to the greater being inside, I could not, I was blocked at this time, but I knew the being was communicating with someone/something else. Then He stepped out of the flame and simply said "I am sorry, you must go back now."

Suddenly I was floating backward. Once I crossed the boundary, I realized I was coming back and for some reason, I did not want to. I yelled Noooo! Wait! Who are you!? In an instant I was pulled back to Him. He then stepped out of the flame and said with a great rumble like a thousand fog horns at once "This is how you see Me"

Then the rumbling became greater and He appeared as an Old man with white hair and beard, but with baby-like skin. I became distracted by his beard because I looked and it seemed like every single hair was full of life and again had the rainbow colored shimmering across it. I was dumbfounded and just thought whooooaaaaaaaa (like the ninja turtles I was really into at this time).

I then thought "Beautiful Grandpa" He could hear all my thoughts. He responded with a brief feeling of disappointment and then said "You must go back now, you are not finished." I still have no idea what I am supposed to finish. I then yelled "Noooo!, wait! nooo!" again as I was pushed quickly backward through the boundary and then suddenly I was held in the dark space where I could see the other place.

The great being leaned (I guess?) over the edge and into the dark place I was in and said "I am so sorry, you must go back. I love you." I have never felt so much sorrow or so much love in my life compared to that moment.

There is nothing on earth that could ever compare to that love or that sorrow. Immediately, I was back in my body and it was as if barely any time had passed. I had a tube down my throat and I heard the EMT standing above me say "I got him, he is breathing" He then said to me "Its OK, you are going to be OK." I was crying and trying to move, but I couldn't. They had me strapped to an orange/red emergency board being loaded into the ambulance, with my mother close, and she got in the ambulance too.

I was trying to say "no, you don't understand, I don't want to be here!" But, I couldn't get the words out because the tube was still in my throat and my mouth was covered. After the surgery on my skull which had fractured and I woke in recovery, I tried to tell my mother and the attending physician what happened, the Dr. looked at my mom with a strange look and said "let's step outside for a bit," but they only went outside the sheet and stayed in the room where I could hear them.

He said to her that when "people have bad head injuries they can imagine things" he talked like I was crazy. I knew then that people would think I was crazy if I told them what happened. So I spent the next 25-years researching religions and death until I found proof enough to confirm what happened to me.


It is still my most vivid memory.

[Giulia]

Welcome to the forum, Thomas.

What a fabulous experience. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

Your description of the love expressed by the white flame being reminds me of similar experiences shared in noticeable near-death experiences, such as “God expressing a love that is greater than the love of all the mothers in the universe together”. The expression of sorrow you described at the same time answered a question I had, as to whether it is possible to experience sadness in Heaven.

The wonderful Grandfather sounds very much like the way God is so often described.

Thank you so much again for sharing your experience.

[troutninja45]

Thank you Gary for your reply. To clarify, I only felt sadness while I was held in the black space and I only felt fear when I was being held in the boundary/veil place. Once I was pulled into heaven, I felt no fear or sadness. I did not even remember my life on earth, my family, or friends at that point. I was with my true family at that time. And yes, now I know that it was God that I spoke to, though I am still unsure weather the other beings were Messengers of God, Spirits of loved ones, or Judges in heaven, or more than one of those things.

-Thomas

[troutninja45]

I forgot to add that when God looked at me as He leaned over the boundary, He was back in his flame form and I saw his flame face in detail. I will never forget it as long as I live.
Thomas

[Zen Tzu]

Hello Thomas and a very warm welcome to you! Thank you so much for sharing your profoundly amazing experience in such great detail. Personally, I have never experienced an NDE however for most of my life I have regularly experienced everything else