I am posting this account in the OBE section, because the major event I will be reporting is an Out of the Body Experience. However, in order to place this experience in context, I will also follow up with two further experiences, one of which happened during a dream and one in meditation. I would also say that all three of them are what I normally refer to as After Death Communication experiences, with three ADCs involving the same person.
This is one of the most touching OBE events I have ever experienced; the one that literally changed my life, as it allowed me to realise that we are not really separate from our loved ones on the so-called “other side”. I had this experience around 3 a.m. on Monday, 29 August 1994 (at the time, I had just turned 33).
I had been experiencing OBEs over the past three years, and had also had some very comforting meetings with my paternal grandfather, whom I had never got to meet in the physical world, as he had died 4 years before by birth. But till then, it had always felt as if he had met me half-way, so to speak. In fact, I had been regularly practicing OBEs on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, and had gradually switched from curiosity about the technical aspects and possibilities associated with the OBE state to a more spiritual approach, aimed at getting evidence of life continuing after death. Ever since my OBEs took a more spiritual turn, my grandfather seemed to become my mentor, and would hardly ever fail to meet me when I looked for him.
But here is what happened with Sabrina.
Over the period 8-14 August, 1994, I spent my first week at the Arthur Findlay College in Stansted (England). This was my first in-depth approach with Spiritualism and professional mediumship. Upon my return to the office on the following Monday, I learnt that the health conditions of Sabrina, the 14 year old daughter of one of my colleagues, who during that summer had suddenly started suffering from a rare disease affecting her key organs (heart, lungs, liver etc.) had become very serious, and on Wednesday the 17th we received the sad news that she had suddenly passed away in hospital. The previous night, she had said goodnight to her dad, asking him to come and see her as soon as possible the next morning. But she didn't make it through the night, and only the night-shift nurse was with her when she suddenly felt something strange was happening to her, and asked her to please hold her tight.
I was awfully upset by this event. I had only spoken to Sabrina once over the phone, before going to Stansted, as I happened to be at the switchboard when she had called for her dad. But I was now torn by the very urgent, pressing feeling that I could offer her dad evidence that his daughter was alive and well, by using my OBE skills. Little did I realise how difficult it might prove to talk about such out of the ordinary experiences. Her dad was due back to work on 29 August and, during the week preceding his return to the office, this urgency to go and see Sabrina became increasingly pressing and I could hardly think about anything else. This was a strange, very powerful feeling, which I was to experience in future again and again, but it also was the very first time I was faced with such an occurrence, and the first time I was conceiving to astral travel on somebody else's behalf.
I tried every night, that last week, and failed every single attempt.
On the Sunday evening, I found myself still facing the problem. I HAD to see Sabrina that night, whatever it may take.
That night I spent the first three hours turning round in my bed, desperately trying to relax and achieve a long enough hypnagogic state that may allow me to consciously leave my body, but to no avail. I was not sufficiently experienced in this field, and neither was I aware of how the urgency dictated by grief or sorrow could actually hinder this kind of experiences. I was extremely frustrated.
Around midnight I actually succeeded in leaving the body, but found myself facing a rather unexpected and unsettling experience, as, whilst being disturbed by extremely strong vibrations, very much like an electric current, I was shocked to see a full-size Christ hanging on the cross emerging from the floor of my bedroom. This scared me and caused me to give up for the time being. (I later realised I was being challenged by some Sunday-School talk about Afterlife being a taboo topic).
However, around 3.00 a.m., I suddenly found myself out of the body again, although this time I was in a totally different environment, and for the first time in my life I was unaware of vibrations and experienced no fear. I wasn't in my bedroom, and I wasn't in that familiar “half-way” environment where my granddad used to meet me. I was somewhere else, and I was face to face with Sabrina.
She appeared slightly younger than 14, and in a state of mind which at the time I would have described as slightly confused. With hindsight, having visited what some call the Afterlife and others call the Otherlife again under totally different circumstances, I now understand what led me to think that Sabrina might have been confused. She was definitely not confused: I WAS CONFUSED.
I would have expected her to welcome me with terrific enthusiasm, but she did not display any special excitement. I asked her whether she was OK, and she said she was. I asked her whether she had any message she wished me to convey to her parents, and got an answer I found again most confusing: «Well, yeah! No, not at the moment!» (How could that be? with me there who was to see her dad the next day?) «You will speak to my mom in some time» (I did not know Sabrina's mom) «but only after you have spoken to a woman who speaks French» (this was the most confusing statement of all. I did not have a clue as to what she may be talking about).
After this brief conversation, Sabrina left, as if there were nothing else she had to say. And here comes another unique aspect characterising this OBE. Even though I had been left on my own, I felt no need, interest or urgency to return to my physical body. I found myself there not really knowing what I was doing and what to do. In the past I had always felt, throughout my OB experiences, the strong need to quickly return to my physical body: something like a psychological elastic band pulling me back. But this time, quite extraordinarily, I seemed to share Sabrina's quiet attitude, and wondered what was going on.
However, after having stood there for a while on my own, I suddenly realised where I was and that I was not supposed to stay there. I was suddenly seized by panic, and, much like a moth wheeling franticly around the light, I convulsively reached out for my physical body and eventually landed in my bed.
Needless to say, when Sabrina's dad returned to work the next day, I was unable to utter a single word about this experience, despite the tremendous excitement over the event. I simply did not know how to approach him.
About 10 days later, I had another scheduled afternoon OBE, during which I tried to see Sabrina again. The moment I left my body, I felt the presence of some kind of angelic being (a woman), taller than me, very beautiful (although I could not actually "see" her), who firmly gave me her arm and slowly accompanied me around something that seemed a bed (although I could not see the occupant), asking me to please speak softly, in order not to wake up Sabrina. She then led me back to my bed, and into my body, where I landed in the gentlest way.
Although I was not very experienced about what happens after death at that time, and had not yet read of the mediumistic accounts that refer to some kind of restorative rest similar to sleep, following death on certain occasions, I concluded Sabrina was asleep and should not be disturbed.
A few days after my first OBE attempt, on 1 September 1994, we were informed at work that a Marketing Assistant had just joined our company. This young woman (who was almost exactly may age, being only 4 days younger than me) was bilingual (Italian-French) and had just returned to Italy after several years spent in France (where she had part of her family), and at the time spent two weekends a month in France on a regular basis. For some strange synchronicity, this girl and I almost immediately started chatting via the company Intranet during breaks, and I happened to mention to her that I experienced OBEs and had just had this terrific one about Sabrina and did not know how to handle the whole issue.
About a month later, P. (the French speaking Marketing Assistant) came to me and told me that Sabrina's father had spoken to her so openly about his recent loss while having coffee together, that she could not resist letting him know that I had something to tell him.
None of this had been planned or even conceived as possible by me beforehand.
So, some 40 days after Sabrina's passing, her dad came to my office to enquire about what "was going on with Sabrina". I was a bit confused. I knew he felt very uneasy in talking about such things, but he immediately helped me by saying that his wife would have very much liked to meet me and, without asking any details about my “experiences”, he asked whether I would like to have lunch with them one day.
And that's what happened. It all came true, exactly as Sabrina had told me, her apparent lack of excitement possibly being due to the fact that "my" excitement had no way of manifesting as quickly as I would have expected or hoped for.
Although we had never met before, Sabrina's mom and I spent several hours together that afternoon. She asked for a full account and shared many memories about her daughter. She also mentioned to me I should be careful not to talk about the subject with her husband too openly, as he was much too emotional and unable to handle the conversation. She mentioned an ADC she had had just had a few days after Sabrina's passing, when, upon waking up one morning, she had clearly heard and felt Sabrina telling her that she was alright, that everything was alright and that everything would be alright.
To integrate this account, I need to mention a dream I had in 2003, and the events that followed.
Since Sabrina passed in 1994, I had always been in touch with her parents at least twice a year, and when my son was born, in 1997, they came over to see us and brought with them a soft toy that had belonged to their daughter (a huge clock) and an attractive and colourful quilt that had belonged to Sabrina's cot.
In 2003, out of the blue, I had a dream of a beautiful 22-year old Sabrina who (as it had happened with other people I had known, or not known, including my paternal grandmother) seemed to have visited me with the very purpose of not only showing me what a beautiful grown-up woman she had become, but also describing what her transition had been like and how difficult it had been for her to assess the exact time at which she had passed away.
In the dream she showed me that one moment she was with the nurse, somehow in need of air, then she described the nurse administering an inhalation therapy to her (something which did not happen on the physical plane) and then she realised she had died, but had to go backwards and forwards in time several times throughout her experience, to try and detect at what time her “death” had actually occurred.
I related this dream to Sabrina's mom, and explained that in my opinion, with this dream out of the blue, Sabrina might have been trying to explain how gentle her transition had been, which ties in with the early afterlife accounts I have read and heard of by many people who have talked about their own death through mediums or in direct communication with their loved ones: in most of the cases I had read or heard of, especially when death had been unexpected, the experiencer had had difficulties realising what was happening immediately, but was made aware of his/her transition very gently.
A few months later, I was again speaking to Sabrina's mom on the phone, and she was telling me how emotional her husband is, and how little they could talk about these subjects together. She also told me that her husband could hardly remember having had any dreams about Sabrina over the 9 years that had elapsed since her death. In the only one he had recalled he had dreamt of holding Sabrina in his arms at the time of her death. He had woken up drenched in sweat.
However, knowing how sorry and guilty he had felt for not having got to the hospital in time that morning, and not having been with her that night, this account really gave me chills, as I realised and suggested to his wife that Sabrina might in fact have managed to get through to him, despite his emotional barrier, and allowed him to be with her on the night he had so much regretted not to have spent with her, to share that crucial time with her, however sad this might have proven. No need to say this very thought brought tears to her eyes, and I had to force back mine.
My most recent meeting with Sabrina occurred in November 2008. I had an inborn interest in mediumship and I had been practicing meditation for several years, but this time her parents had explicitly asked if I could focus on their daughter in meditation. I was amazed at what happened after just a few attempts, as this was a very vivid and emotional ADC. I did not realise at the time what season of the year was approaching, as my work was so busy in those days that I had lost the notion of time. But when I saw Sabrina in meditation, she was dressed in vivid red, and she spoke to me telepathically: she said she was ever so sad for having left her parents so early and she said “she would have liked to hug them with all the Christmases they had had to spend without her”.
I am reporting this with Sabrina’s parents’ permission. By the way, Sabrina’s dad has now passed away and I first heard from him in 2015, as I was recovering from surgery. He asked me to tell his wife to let go of her attachment to his physical shell, so that he could be in touch with her directly, as they used to during his physical life.
ADC: A Story Dating Back to 1994
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